Build Date: Sat Jun 7 16:40:58 2025 UTC
Enzymes!
-- Binky
Keep Your Quake III; I'll Just Play Zangband
1999-11-02 11:06:10
Yeah, I know, I know. First-person shooters and real-time strategy games are big, Big, BIG! But I've got ADD and I get bored easy. Walking around a maze and shooting at the same 4 monsters over and over gets old quick. To keep me challenged, interested, and excited, man, I GOT to have a good Rogue-like game. And Zangband is the best.
Folks who are used to ultra-realistic 3-D Voodoo-Hoodoo graphics and spectacular explosions of pixellated gore probably don't quite GROK why roguelike games are so popular. I mean, instead of a GUN and a ROCKET LAUNCHER you get the "@" symbol. This is you, in your fear-inspiring glory! And instead of a bunch of DROOLING MUMMIES, you get attacked by "O" and "T" and the VERY DREADED "p." ASCII characters that inspire INCREDIBLE FEAR! What the FUCK?
But the thing about rogue-like games that makes them worth playing is the incredible DEPTH of the game world. Zangband, for example, has >1000 types of monsters to fight, 100 levels, 50+ quests, and an unending array of fascinating game situations.
The other thing that's cool is that you develop a CHARACTER. Your character is a work of ART, not just based on what you HAVE or what Pacman level-route you follow, but on all the choices you make from the minute you start the game. It's TOTALLY COOL.
Like I said, Zangband is the connoisseur's roguelike game (nethack coming in a close second or third, maybe). There's a kajillion ports to practically every platform under the sun (Acorn RISC OS?!) and lots of cool sites about it. You should start playing Zangband TODAY. Go! Now!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall -- they're definitely desperation tactics. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
