Build Date: Fri Oct 17 13:40:08 2025 UTC
Goddamn all you people to hell. Thom Stark, you stole my Dog Name.
-- Ratsnatcher
Creationism Road Kill Fever!
1999-10-21 18:16:24
Hello, my name is Negative Nancy and I have a problem. I can't stop. I can't look away. It's starting to interfere with my work, my love life, my family. It's tearing me away from the people and the things I love. I read wacko religious propaganda on the internet.
I usually download it late a night when ever one else has gone to sleep. I live in fear that some day, someone will find me out. I would loose eveything-- the children, my job, the house, the dog. But I can't stop. I know I'm not along. I heard somewhere that there are hundreds, maybe even thousands of wacko right-wing extremist sites out there. They say that some of them we around even before the Internet, but that the web has allowed them to reach people the never would have with pamphlets or newsletters. People like me.
I started out with the little stuff. Sites like the Catholic family movie reviews that criticize stuff like "Dough's First Movie" for showing cartoon children in their underwear. From there I found links to sites like the anti-catholic bias watchdog.
From there is was easy to start reading harder stuff like Rapture Ready, which kindly includes pages to be read by those who are left behind after the Rapture of Christ, as well as a weekly "Rapture Index," so you can stay on top of events during the End Days.
But now it's getting out of hand. I really feel like I've lost all control. I try and get my "fix" just by reading some anti-gay screeds and maybe a few Armageddon senerios. But that doesn't seem to be enough to satisfy me. I need more. I need Creationist Pseudo Science! I need fossil bones planted by Satan! I need a 6,000 year old planet! I need Suns created in a day!
But deep down I know, what I really need is help.
help me. please.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
