Build Date: Sun Apr 20 16:40:25 2025 UTC
I'll condescend to you all I want, bee-yatch. If you don't want to be
condescended to, don't act like a putz.
-- Mr. Bad
Webzine 98 Blah blah gar gar gar!
1998-11-11 15:23:00
OK, so, Cool Event of the Week is the Webzine 98 thingy. I'd think it was a horrible blech gar-gar-gar-fest, except the exceptional people at Unamerican Activities are sponsoring it. And they are so cool it makes my neck sweat.
I think it could be fun. We're gonna go. Someone I was talking to said she went to this last year and had acid-laced "Peeps" (Yeah, the little marshmallow Easter chickens). Personally, I think that's reason enough to go. I mean, dosed "Peeps"! That's _EVIL_!
But I also think it would be great publicity if the Pigdog crew got in a huge drunken fistfight with some group wimpier yet more famous than us. Like, say, Suck. I mean, there are 70s punk bands whose sole claim to fame is that they kicked the ass of the Clash outside some slimey London club.
Ratsnatcher thinks we should keel-haul Michael Kinsley from "Slate" behind a pickup truck, but something tells me he's not gonna be there. I don't like fighting, anyways. Maybe I can buy the Suck people some drinks and they'll agree to stage a fight and take a dive.
Anyways, I'm still holding out hopes that this is going to be real grassroots zine thingy and not a wannabe hipster corp-o-fest. But, I say, check it out.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
