Build Date: Sun Dec 22 10:40:07 2024 UTC
OLE... yuck. "Hey Jed, this here Word document gots a VIDEO in it!"
-- Tjames Madison
Big Stills! Weehaw!
2000-01-12 17:57:26
I have never been a big proponent of e-commerce in any way, shape or form. OK, well, actually, I like buying gray-market drugs on the Internet. And cyberporn. But besides, that, e-commerce blows. At least, that's what I thought until I saw StillLife.com. COOLIO BOOZE STILLS!
If you've ever tried you know that it's actually really, really a big pain in the keester to put together your own distilling equipment. Not that I've tried, because that would be wrong, but I've HEARD that it's hard. So I was surprised when I found this here StillLife.com. It has a great kit with all the doodads you need to MAKE YER OWN HOOCH in the comfort of your home. How cool is that?
The really crazy part is that you could use their still-thingy to make GASOHOL or even ROCKET FUEL. OK, I don't know about that rocket fuel part, but isn't that a good idea?! Everything comes with crazy instructions and they even have a big ass book about making yer own shine. The coolest part about the site is the Y2K section, just in case you're afraid civilization is going to collapse 12 days ago. If civilization collapsed, wouldn't you have a mighty hankerin' for some WHITE LIGHTNING? I know I would.
Big caveat here: it's highly illegal to make your own booze at home. Neither Mr. Bad nor Pigdog Journal advocate this activity. BUT, according to stilllife.com, "it is definitely NOT illegal to KNOW how to do it!" So go do some research, check out stilllife.com, and tell em Pigdog sent you. Actually, don't tell them that. You don't know us. But, uh, dibs on some of your first batch.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
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Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
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'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
