Build Date: Wed Dec 25 13:50:12 2024 UTC
We're not doing our job if we're just pissing off Canadians.
-- Mr. Bad
Crazy African Bug Shoots Acid Out of It's Arse!!
1999-08-20 18:19:04
Hey, so this isn't news or anything, but this crazy bug called the African bombardier beetle shoots Burning Hot Acid out of it's ASS with sooper dooper accuracy!!
It has special butt jets that it uses to aim at it's enemies and when it shoots the acid out, it makes a big bang sound like a gun!! Woo! It's so accurate it could even hit its victim (like an ant) in the eyeballs if it wanted.
So, go look at the pictures because that's the best part...you can see the ass spray in action...up close and personal!
On a side note: I'm thinkin' I'd like to get me a few of these critters. I'll use them against my upstairs neighbor next time he pisses me off. See, he's an entomologist and he has all kinds of bad crazy bugs up in his nasty apartment.
He's a big freak and bothers me all the time...for being noisy and what not. Not that I am, but he's ultra sensitive because he has special spidy senses and never leaves his creepy crawly apartment except to climb up in our neighborhood trees to conduct experiments and collect new specimens.
More than once I have found unusual, horrible, bugs in MY apartment. For instance, one week I found THREE black widows in my room!!! I suspect that sometimes he releases the horrible little beasties into my apartment on PURPOSE! So, if I get myself some African butt shooting bugs, I could train them to defend my household from his attacks.
Just a thought.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
