Build Date: Sun Nov 24 00:00:14 2024 UTC
Just be glad that someone is willing to pay for you to learn how to freeze heads.
-- Johnnie Royale
Norway Government Caves to Student Partying
2002-04-05 17:59:25
Realizing that it is impossible to stop 18 year old Norwegian students from participating a 17 day orgy of partying fueled by alcohol and drugs as they celebrate the end of their compulsory schooling, the Norwegian Government has capitulated and moved the final tests these students take back two weeks.
I think this is some of the best news I've every heard. First, you've got an entire segment of a population refusing to give up a 100-year tradition of partying for 17 straight days - just to prepare for some stupid test. I think it roxs that the students put partying ahead of some ridiculous and meaningless exam - choosing instead to potentially fail the test and fucking their life up forever - rather then stop celebrating the end of their schooling.
Then there is this whole partying for 17 straight days. 17 fucking days. YAHOOOOO. You go d00ds and d00dettes. Fuck, I wish I could party for 17 straight days. It would probably kill me, but it sure would be fun trying.
And finally, there is that admission from the powers that be that they are helpless to stop this unabridged bacchanalia tradition (that they themselves participated in back in their teenage years) and all the PC blathering that we in the US are sooooo fucking accustoming to hearing about the fucking sanctity of the sober mind and that 18 year olds shouldn't be drinking is fucking tossed out the window and the frigging test is move back two weeks so the students have time to deal with their massive hangovers.
You can bet that in the US, the Anti-Fun Nazis would be doing everything in their power to stop this partying and would never EVER consider moving the test back to accommodate the students' desire have a whole fuck load of fun. Fuck, I hate this country sometimes and all the bastardaros running around trying to spoil everyone's good time.
Anyway, a big Pigdog Beaujolais to the Norwegians for doing the right thing - definitely an entire race of Bad People of the Future.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
Naked Australian Redhead -- Missing!
She posed naked on the web, fought for pornography online, and even kept an online "Diary of a Virtual Girlfriend." But after earning a place in internet history, Bernadette Taylor vanished without a trace. (More...)
