Build Date: Wed Dec 25 14:10:14 2024 UTC
The day is my enemy. The night is my friend.
-- Ella Fitzgerald
President Strom Thrumond?
2000-10-30 11:14:22
Man, doesn't that phrase give you the willies.
But, according to the National Journal, (not linked here because it is a pay per view site), given how close this year's race is not only for President, but for control of the House and the Senate, it is convincible that Strom, a 97 year old, ultra-conservative Senator from South Carolina, could become the 43th President of the United States.
You can blame the obsolete (and utterly ridiculous) Electoral College for this possibility.
Fortunately, the odds of Strom moving into the White House are long. First, Bore and Dubbya have to split the Electoral College, with 269 votes a piece. If that happens, selection of the president goes to the House of Representative. In the unlikely event that the House is unable to decide a winner between Jan 4th and Jan 20th, the Senate gets to elect a vice president. If the Democrats pick up 5 seats, (again, highly unlikely) and there is a tie vote in the Senate, the Speaker of House becomes president. If the House is split down the middle and unable to choose a Speaker, then the president pro tempore gets the job. That's Strom.
I can't think of a better poster child for reforming the Electoral College and I call on Congress to immediately pass an amendment changing the selection of President of the United States to the person that wins the popular vote.
The SF Comical has a decent write up of this nightmare scenario.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
Datelined "Historic Mariposa," the fateful press release came in like an angry wind, announcing the release of a self-produced album, "Ordinary Hero," by occasional Pigdog contributor Thom Stark, in the language and tone of a Major Event, setting off a brief firestorm around the pigdog mailing list. (More...)
