Build Date: Wed Dec 25 14:20:13 2024 UTC
"Let's roll" was the last thing heard over a air-to-ground phone connection, said by one passenger to another, before the passengers attempted to retake the fourth hijacked aircraft on 9-11. Instead of gaining control of the aircraft and thwarting the hijackers, they succeeded in crashing the plane into the ground and killing everyone aboard, including themselves. A fitting motto if there ever was one.
-- Baron Earl (referring to George W. Bush's new national motto)
Newsflash! The Earth Revolves!
1999-12-10 12:08:50
May years ago, you were assured that when you read a copy of The Washington Post, you could expect some of the finest reporting in the world. Unfortunately, the paper fucked with Dick Nixon. Nixon, after being squashed like a bug, used his last remaining trump card, and ordered that the fumes for a nearby petrochemical plant be pumped directly into the vent system of the Post, rendering all staff and reporters highly brain damaged. So you have to cut them a little slack when they report what they think is groundbreaking, but the rest of us have known for decades.
The latest example of this is found in the December 8th edition, in which the post reports that researchers have made the discovery that drinking teens are likelier to try sex. Thank you Washington Post. If it weren't for you, I never would have understood why the local high school football teams in Missoula were always trying to get the cheerleaders to do beer bongs.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)