Build Date: Thu Apr 24 04:50:21 2025 UTC
Oh, oh, oh, the despair. Will I ever be kewl in Master Squid's eyes!
-- Patient Joab
Amazing True Life Parallel to Burt Reynolds Film!
1999-06-13 02:40:45
So, does anyone remember that Burt Reynolds movie where he plays an old fat retired safe cracker who comes out of retirement for one last heist? He takes this young dirtbag type under his wing as an apprentice to his "art" and later they rob some weird carnival...
But, the dirtbag goes against Burt's warnings about flashing his cash after the robbery and he buys a big GOLD Caddy and lots of hookers and what not and of course he gets thrown into the slammer..Teaching us all that crime doesn't pay, at least not if you're stupid!
Now its happened in real life!! Well sorta. The old guy is actually kinda famous for writing about his life of crime. He DID come out of retirement to rob a bank, BUT he got busted while fleeing the seen of the crime, so now he's in the slammer. Oh yeah, and he's in Canadia.
Isn't it strange how life imitates art??
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
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This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
I ran my hands lovingly across her frame, lightly brushing her metallic nipples with my fingers, admiring the shapes and the ways of her curves, the empathetic hum she produced as I had my way with her, the way she made it all seem so effortless and right... she didn't even seem to mind the way I roughly manipulated her knobs and tweaked her casing. She was extremely tolerant, for a typewriter. (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
