Build Date: Sat Feb 22 15:00:45 2025 UTC
Guinness, deep thick nutrient soup of the soul.
-- Mr. Bad
Pigdog Content Refresh Bug
1999-09-28 03:26:48
You've probably been studying on why there has been so little content this month. And, like, why there aren't any crazy stories about skunks, or skunk-apes! Hits are way down, and everyone's all just sitting thar, staring at the screen, sick to death of hitting reload just to be rewarded with the same old crapola. What we need is new crapola, NEW CRAPOLA. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you what happened...
Pigdog exploded. See, we went to the evil Burning Man festival (for a whole week) last month, where we burned out our insides with playa dust and skut liquor. We built a deranged hillbilly shack, put on overalls, and ran around acting like big, dumb, dogshit-eating hillbillies! But not just any hillbillies, SCIENTIST HILLBILLIES. See. Because that's what they have in the future. The future of America is hillbillies with SCIENCE.
We whipped up big batches of our special HyperWhiskey(tm) poison, and SmartChaw(tm) chewin' tobacco, and told people who walked by our shack to imbibe and chomp. And they did! And so did we!!
We do this every year for some reason, which neither I, nor anyone else, has successfully been able to explain. So I'm not going to even try.
The important thing to note, however, is that the hangover lasts a SOLID MONTH -- in which time, we cannot do any writing whatsoever. This has been the case in the past, and it is proving to be so this year as well.
HARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! If you believe that I got me a mule to sell you on the bridge that is in Brooklyn for which the Eskimos with refrigerators have no name. Harr!!!
Why not look at this nice photo gallery (courtesy Wendolonia) of our trip to Burning Man this year?
Alright den.
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
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Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
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Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
