Build Date: Sun Dec 22 07:50:12 2024 UTC
I live in a tiny, mysterious third-world country that is very far away and filled with meat golems. It is called 'Colorado'.
-- Tjames Madison
2 Year Sentence For Columbine Threat Vs. 4 Months For Murder
1999-10-22 14:22:28
17 year old Columbine student was arrested for making threats near the 6 month anniversary of the big shooting. He's now facing 2 years in jail. Meanwhile, this other guy gets FOUR MONTHS for KILLING his wife. Not THREATENING to kill his wife-- shooting her and then leaving the house and then COMING back to finish her off when he realized he had more bullets. He finally managed to kill her while she was on the phone with a 911 operator.
The Columbine kid was arrested, NOT after a half naked man covered in blood ran to police to report a brutal murder, but after RUMORS were reported to the school faculty. The boy reportedly said that he was going to "finish the job started by Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold." Oh and there was a note in his room that said something about how much life sucks. The boy had no idea what he was talking about. No weapons were found at or near his house.
Jefferson County's chief deputy district attorney was trying his dammest to get the boy charged as an adult, but it looks like the kid's headed to juvie. Chances are they'll keep him their until the trials over (6 mons to 1 year is the usual wait I hear) for "observation," since he's been talkin' all suicidal (unlike most 17 year old boys that have just been arrested for the first time).
Can you imagine is that dead women had gone to the police saying her husband had threatened to kill her and would they please lock him up for two years? They would laugh her beaten ass all the way to her grave.
One of the jurors in the murder case was quoted as saying "We feel for the family, but Jimmy needs help. The prison system just won't give him help." Aint gonna be anybody that thoughtful when they put away that 17 year old. And if he didn't have a chip on his shoulder and serious violent tendencies now, he's sure as hell gonna have them when he gets out.
I hope he's not a pretty boy.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks. (More...)
Naked Australian Redhead -- Missing!
She posed naked on the web, fought for pornography online, and even kept an online "Diary of a Virtual Girlfriend." But after earning a place in internet history, Bernadette Taylor vanished without a trace. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
