Build Date: Wed Feb 5 03:40:15 2025 UTC
Behind every pathetic worthless loser of a man is a woman who figured his sorry ass out and stabbed him in the back.
-- The Compulsive Splicer
Looky There! A Shack on Wheels!
1999-01-05 09:08:00
Doug Kelley is a cruel, twisted man with no respect for the hard-working, god-fearing, mobile-home-inhabiting folks of Mississippi. And for that we salute him. Doug has been kind enough to travel around scenic sites such as Columbus, Mississippi's trailer parks, taking photos and critiquing the creme de la creme of trailer house architecture and landscaping.
Points are given for appliances on the front porch ("Although not as trendy as placing appliances in the yard, a screened porch allows the public to view your collection."), number of cars up on blocks (parked in the front yard -- NOT the driveway), satellite dishes, general refuse and slovenliness. Don't miss the love letters from Jesus-freaks and bad-spelling rednecks ("I find you to be ofensive and rude. Futhermore, you are a sick cookie! Our children are not all slow").
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Juggler Vain attempts to wrestle with the issues around the KPFA shutdown; Big-time wrestling ensues. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
