Build Date: Fri Mar 7 02:00:26 2025 UTC
You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it.
-- Groucho Marx
Looky There! A Shack on Wheels!
1999-01-05 09:08:00
Doug Kelley is a cruel, twisted man with no respect for the hard-working, god-fearing, mobile-home-inhabiting folks of Mississippi. And for that we salute him. Doug has been kind enough to travel around scenic sites such as Columbus, Mississippi's trailer parks, taking photos and critiquing the creme de la creme of trailer house architecture and landscaping.
Points are given for appliances on the front porch ("Although not as trendy as placing appliances in the yard, a screened porch allows the public to view your collection."), number of cars up on blocks (parked in the front yard -- NOT the driveway), satellite dishes, general refuse and slovenliness. Don't miss the love letters from Jesus-freaks and bad-spelling rednecks ("I find you to be ofensive and rude. Futhermore, you are a sick cookie! Our children are not all slow").
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Juggler Vain attempts to wrestle with the issues around the KPFA shutdown; Big-time wrestling ensues. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
