Build Date: Tue Jan 7 00:10:09 2025 UTC
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-- Dean Martin
Rock For Life
1999-03-22 16:35:00
There are some bad people out there, and I don't mean bad in a good way, who think their band will sell more records if it's featured on a web page with a picture of a fetus jamming on guitar.
In addition to their insightful political invectives (President Clinton: Do not mock God) -- well, wait a minute. Fuck correct grammar and forget that half-finished thought. _Do not mock God_? What's that about? Is that good advice for a leader of a nation? I mean, sure, it's probably not a great idea to taunt a being of vast power, but what the hell is that supposed to mean? That goes under "sage advice," along with "Don't tug on Superman's cape." I'll remember that for future reference. I'm sure it'll come in handy some day.
Okay, Okay, I'll get on with it.
This site invites you to boycott all pro-choice rock and rollers out there. As if I knew who any were. But even if I did, and even if I cared to support their cause, I'm sure I'd be turned away by the background image on this hideously designed Web site. It might be funny as a parody, but as a site trying to promote fetus-worship it just seems distasteful.
This site also features a list of pro-life and pro-choice (they call it pro-abortion like all the other rabid bastards that think that terminating a pregnancy is bad but that somehow killing grown-up people is OK) bands, so we can make informed listening choices. The list of pro-life bands is much longer than the list of pro-choice bands, but on closer inspection nine out of ten of the pro-choice bands are recognizable names, whereas out of 170 pro-life rock bands listed, I've only heard of three (MC Hammer, The Cranberries, and a name I didn't recognize, but who was formerly a member of 2 Live Crew--talk about a total "John Stamos' Brother" deal...) and there were multiple duplicates to pad the list.
Yuck.
T O P S T O R I E S
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The Once & Future King of Dust
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Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
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Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
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Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
