She Just Doesn't Understand
2000-08-23 09:21:13
A 21 year old Georgia woman married a 14 year old boy five weeks after giving birth to the boy's child. According to Georgia law, it's perfectly legal for them to get married, despite the boy's age, because they're parents. However, also according to Georgia law, it was illegal for them to have sex prior to wedlock, so now the woman is in jail.
Yeah it's a paradox. It's legal for you to get married because you've made a baby together, but it was illegal for you to make that baby in the first place.
Lots of people think that the law is some sort of cut and dried equation. If you have a set of facts, a crime, and a set of laws, you should always end up with the same verdict and the same punishment. (Unless you hire a really expensive lawyer, in which case you'll escape punishment no matter how heinous the crime.)
It doesn't work that way people. There are so many laws on the books that every one of us is a criminal. The government figures if we're all criminals, we're easier to control, because they can always get you for some reason. There are so many contradictory laws on the books that it doesn't matter which way you jump, you're still guilty.
It's all about power and control.
This is just such a case. The law forbidding sexual intercourse is there to control young people's sexual behavior. Young people have been having sex for thousands and thousands of years, and there's no reason to believe that they're going to stop now. The law is there to control people's behavior, to mold them into the cogs of society. To make them uniform. To get them used to being obedient so that they don't question the social order as they mature.
The law allowing marriage is there so that if young people break the first law, the male half of the equation will have a chance to "do the right thing." To marry the girl so they can both become acceptable cogs of society. To be uniform. To help create a stable social order. It provides an "out", a way to escape the punishment of the first law in a socially acceptable manner.
Someone forgot to explain this to District Attorney Richard Read, who said that their marriage doesn't make any previous sexual encounters legal. No Dick, it doesn't, that's not the point. The point is control. To force them into marriage so that the Beast that is Society is appeased. They've done what they needed to do to make ammends, they've performed their act of penance for society, and you BLEW IT by punishing them anyhow. You've forced people to examine the law, to question it, to wonder why these laws exist.
"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain," said the Wizard of Oz.
Dick, listen to the Wizard. Learn from him. If you keep pulling stunts like this, you'll muck up the works. You can only wield that kind of power and control as long as people aren't paying attention.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)