Build Date: Wed Feb 5 03:40:18 2025 UTC
The Library of Short Russian Novels is the smallest library ever.
-- Master Squid
Hackin' in the Bad Way
2000-04-06 14:46:03
So normally you say "hacker" I say "Coolio." I consider myself pretty pro-hacker. Hackers do a lot of neat stuff like annoying big business and keeping information free... blah blah blah. But I think my kinda hackers may want to do a little PR voodoo to make sure they are not confused with the other kinda "hacker."
I'm talking about folks like Richard Timmons, who hacked his family to death in 1997. Both APB Online and the Daily News refer to Timmons as a "hacker," guilty of "hacking." You see where the confusion could arise, right?
Just to recap: Hacking mainframes => Good. Hacking children's heads off => Bad.
I suggest a media campaign to prevent consumer confusion and create a stronger brand awareness for the good "hacker." Press releases and open letters should be sent to new organizations to encourage them to use the less ambiguous terms "Ax Murderer" or "Decapitator" whenever possible when referring to the other hacker. If these measures fail, good hackers may have to resort to copyright suits to prevent the miss-use of their genre lable.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Juggler Vain attempts to wrestle with the issues around the KPFA shutdown; Big-time wrestling ensues. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)