Build Date: Thu Jan 2 13:10:10 2025 UTC

Pigdog knows how lonesome the heart gits.
-- Patient Joab

Oh God Make It Stop!!

by Negative Nancy

2000-02-28 13:35:25

Please! The pain! Oh no no! Not The Positive Press! I can't stand it, I'm just not strong enough! Ahh!! It's all around me- stories of "human strength, kindness, ingenuity and perseverance," inspirational messages and essays! essays! and-- oh it's so horrific! **Warning: sensitive people and those with weak hearts should not read any further.**

I don't know if I can even describe it. There are all these happy people saying-- ugh -- happy things. There ought t' be a law! Here was have this amazing thing called the Web, and these people are filling it up with threads like:

  • "all things are possible"
  • "That special place"
  • "be positive and all the hurdles in the way will clear"
  • "let trouble make you a better person "

Ahhhhhh! They must be stopped! And I'm just the person to do it! For every happy fact they post- I pledge to put up 5 articles on PDJ detailing mans on-going inhumanity to everything!

Murder! Injustice! Stupidity! That is what websites are made of!

Please send contributions to:

Keep the Internet Dark & Dirty c/o Negative Nancy PO BOX 666 Spock Mountain

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

aznar@pigdog.org

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