Build Date: Fri Mar 14 03:50:13 2025 UTC
When we get to legitimate threats of physical violence... you'll know that we are starting phase two.
-- Johnnie Royale
Everyone's a Critic
2000-01-21 18:50:59
Two filmmakers in their mid-twenties have been arrested for filming a horror spoof of the Columbine High School shootings. The Ringwood, N.J. men where busted 5 months after using real, but legally obtained and unloaded, guns in when they shot their film Duck! The Carbine High Massacre on the grounds of E.G. Hewitt School during last summer vacation.
The horror spoof had been selling well from their web FNORD site when local police where contacted by a TV station that had come across the video while doing a story on GASP! "inappropriate" web FNORD sites.
Apparently unaware of the concept of a spoof, FBI behavioral science experts where called in to determine if Carbine High was a preview of an impending massacre!
"Although everything in the movie is in poor taste and repulsive, the only crime was possession of weapons on school property," Detective Sgt. Bernard Lombardo is quoted as saying.
T O P S T O R I E S
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The Once & Future King of Dust
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Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
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Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
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Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
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It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
