Wish I'd Been There To See It
2000-09-14 12:59:58
Disregarding the law is all well and good, but you know, sometimes common sense should tell you to just read the signs, you know?
![]() |
![]() |
"I fought the law and ... the law won." |
On his way home from a greuling session with his dentist Wednesday, Pigdog Photocartoonographer The Compulsive Splicer came across evidence of an event that made him wonder why shit like this doesn't happen more often.
Where Sloat and Junipero Serra meet in San Francisco, the driver of a late model BMW apparantly thought the stop lines painted on the street were there to make the streets pretty.
![]() |
![]() |
Signs, signs, |
At the same time, the conductor of an outbound M Ocean View MUNI train apparantly decided to offer a friendly lesson in traffic safety.
Pigdog Journal was unable to determine exactly when the collision ocurred, but this reporter isn't sure that he cares. Oddly, he finds the Rod Stewart song "Every Picture Tells A Story" running through his head. Normally this might prove to be quite an annoyance, but with this photographic evidence, who can argue?
![]() |
![]() |
The scene, from the other side. |
The vehicle was found ungarnished by blood or gore, indicating that any injuries sustained may have been minor. Splicer's humanitarian side is relieved for the sake of the well-being of the driver and any passengers that may have occupied the vehicle. Splicer is glad also because he thinks he must have swallowed some fluoride rinse while at the dentist's, and was feeling rather nauseous to begin with. Evidence of loss of bodily integrity at the scene probably would have made him lose his cookies.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)