Build Date: Sat Apr 19 11:50:21 2025 UTC
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. Because when you wake up, that's as good as you're going to feel all day.
-- Frank Sinatra
Aliens Frame Man For Burglary
2000-03-10 18:08:05
A 37-year-old Iowan man was transported 180 miles by aliens who flung him threw a house window and then abandoned him, bleeding and confused, to be found by local police. I'm guessing they were using some sort of space/time continuum warping technology, but I'm still waiting for confirmation. The police, in typical non-believer fashion, claim the man was high on methamphetamines and charged him with second-degree burglary.
Man, those devious ay-leens are getting more sneaky and devious all the time! It was bad enough they kidnapped this poor man and erased his memory, but then to throw him through a window knowing he could never explain how he got there! Not to mention taking the brilliant step of altering the chemical composition of their anal-probe lube to resembe traces of Earth-methamphetamine!
None of us are safe!
T O P S T O R I E S
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