Build Date: Mon Mar 31 10:01:03 2025 UTC
Too bad they don't let you wander around a museum with a big cup of beer and a foot long hotdog like you can at the ballpark.
-- Johnnie Royale
Where No Caveman Has Gone Before
2002-04-06 18:06:01
Join the crew of the Enterprise as they "Flash" back into the pre-Bronze era and join Stonefleet on Stonedate 25,000 B.C.
Meet Captain James T. Kirkstone, the swaggering, ne'er-do-well, beer guzzling, woman chasing commander of the U.S.S. Magnetize and his First Officer Sprock, a Volcano by birth and the only member of the cavecrew to even remotely behave in a logical fashion.
Along with Chief Medial Officer Leonard "Fossil" RcKoy, who is in charge of the Magnetize's pre-Aesculapian healing department and liquor cabinet (and evidenced by the shiny red nose he always seems to have) and the kilt wearing Celt, Chief Engineering Montgomery "Shoddy" Shodd, who (usually) manages to keep the Magnetize's hybrid vegetable/mineral hull in one piece and prevent the magna/antimagma warped engines from erupting.
Lt. Hikaru Silu, Lt. Uhearya, Ensign Pavel Chipov and Nurse Christine Charcoal around out the cast of irregulars as the Helmsman, Communication Officer, Navigator and Nurse.
Six episodes currently await your viewing pleasure as our noble, if slightly bent, crew battles the trials and tribbles (a long promised episode) of outer space in its pre-vacuumed state era. Armed with geysers, communicating with clammunicators and delivered to planet surfaces via the transdropper, our heroes fight the evil Klingasaurus and Rockulans long before deep space puns were outlawed.
(Flash required)
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall -- they're definitely desperation tactics. (More...)
War on Terror produces excess inventory of doomsday ready laptops
The War on Terror has resulted in a rush of new technology useful to the general population. (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
