Build Date: Thu Mar 27 23:40:37 2025 UTC
No surgery could hide the sparkle of brilliant nuck clone mastermind evil that you have in your eyes.
-- Mr. Bad
Fear and Loathing on Planet Arkuat
2017-12-15 11:46:01
"I'd finally found Arkuat. Locked in a remote cabin, he was scrawling out his manifesto, where beer bottles shimmered over scattered bits of technology. I'm pretty sure he was building exploding duck decoys..."
"I was never sure if he knew I was there. But I started transcribing what he said, like a mad prophet. Yes, at one point I'd asked myself if he was just rambling drunkenly.
"But the more sobering thought was that maybe he'd seen too much, and was sending out a warning to us all." -- El Destino
The only real remedy I know against ancient earworms is a brand-new earworm. St Vincent just dropped a good one for me in Los Ageless.
Also, Peter Thiel appears to be human garbage.
I'm going to tell you a few things about Hunter S. Thompson's country. Hunter's country was the principal terrorist power on this planet since 20 years before I was born. And Hunter was born before I was.
"Alucard!"
Alucard is and has always been secret code for "I recognize that I am a citizen of the country that has been the principal terrorist power on this planet since long before I was born." That's why we say Alucard.
We recognize.
The starving babies in Yemen stand witness.
If you want to be a Pigdog journalist, you are going to have to bury your face in some shit, and if anyone pretending to tell you that there is a different way to be a Pigdog journalist, I will personally fight that motherfucker. I had a specific task in mind when I started giving lessons in being a Pigdog journalist. I did it for one reason, and one reason only. I did it specifically to piss you off.
I've been researching an article on Cambridge Analytica and Big Data. It's developing tentacles, but really, I'm working on my copy. Just so much research. You know about the SCL Group and the role it played in the Brexit campaign? Do you know what the Brexit shit is going to do to the border with northern Ireland? It's going to destroy the Good Friday Agreement!
I like how they use the word "audience"... Wouldn't we all love to have an "audience" like that?
Sweet, sweet Pigdog. Do not let me down in this time of general need. I believe that we have journalistic expertise to draw on within this Pigdog... You all know what we did in the '90s, but now our services are NEEDED. I've been shuddering lately with the realization of how we are going to have to expand and re-engineer the electrical distribution grid, also nuclear power plants, just to replace all of the fossil carbon we're going to have to stop burning. And I'm not even an engineer!
There is also this important matter of the liberation of psychedelic drugs. You guys know all about that, I'm sure, but we have been much too patient for far too long.
You know, ever since the election I've been feeling like a character in a Philip K. Dick novel. And let me tell you, brother, that is no kind of way to live.
I am goldbricking at my day job and listening to the Mothers of Invention perform the rock opera Billy the Mountain.
Have I mentioned that this last year I've been feeling like a character in a Philip K. Dick novel? And two years ago I didn't even know what that meant as well as I do now, because I read most of my Philip K. Dick in 2016.
For me, feeling like a character in a bad Dick novel means feeling a lot of paranoia that just doesn't seem necessary.
It feels ridiculous to me. Nonetheless, i continue to feel it.
I'm constantly perceiving surveillance all around me, as if I was living in East Germany in 1988. I try to dance and work with the surveillance. You know they record every utterance you declare to the world. We always speak with a double voice nowadays. We speak to our chosen audience and we speak to our surveillers, in a single speech. As the stereotype has it, the white man speaks with a forked tongue.
So, full disclosure, I was reading a book by a man that I'm pretty sure many Pigdogs are familiar with, Bruce Schneier. The book is called Data and Goliath. I recommend it to you all. His next book, that he's still working on, is about The Internet of Things.
I heard the working title is "Click on This to Kill Us All"
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Negative Nancy, touring the gin joints of the world, sent us her latest Spocktail creation, The Inattentive Beachcomber, which she concocted and field tested somewhere in South East Asia. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)