Build Date: Mon Apr 21 08:40:17 2025 UTC
Why should ANYONE around here feel in awe of "Fight Club?" Fuck "Fight Club."
-- Mr. Bad
What's in, What's out - Version 2001
2001-01-21 21:30:22
So yesterday George "Dubbya" Bush, took the oath of office and became the 43th President of the United States of America. Naturally a new administration in Washington means that there will be a lot of changes and so Pigdog is here to tell you what fads faded into the past with the retirement of Bill Clinton and what are now the hottest trends in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.
OUT | IN |
Lyin' | Inability to count |
Aggressive, no nonsense wife | Cookie baking wife |
Oval Office sex | No sex, period |
Right wing Clinton bashing | Left wing whining |
Corporate greed | Extreme corporate greed |
What's left of the Bill of Rights | Corporate Rights |
Laughable National Energy Policy | Energy Policy??? We don't need no stinkin' Energy Policy! What we need are more oil wells |
Homely daughters | Cuter daughters, but not as fine as Gore's |
Workaholic President | Best naps since the Reagan era |
Problems understanding what the word "is" means | Problems understanding what any words mean |
Arkansas Meth | Texas Coke |
Don't ask, Don't Tell | Homophobia... but it's OK, because the Bible says so |
Legal Abortion | Death penalty for abortionists |
Debt reduction | Tax cuts for the wealthy |
Balanced Supreme Court | Radical right court that attempts to return the U.S. to the 18th century |
Governor Death | President Death |
Boring, banal VP | VP that runs the country |
No more welfare | Much more corporate welfare |
Lip service about helping the poor | Government assistance to the wealthy too so that the top 1% can go from owning 80% of the wealth to 99% |
Ranting right wing talk show hosts | Left wing protest marches ending in riots |
East Coast liberal intellectuals | Texas rednecks |
Gun control | Mandatory gun ownership |
God every Sunday | Jesus, Jesus, Jesus and more Jesus every damn day of the week |
Horrible, misguided and unwinable War on Drugs | Horrible, misguided and unwinable War on Drugs minus any sort of treatment programs |
Sophisticated attempts to disenfranchise unliked minorities | Jailing of all minorities as it was gonna happen anyway and this will save a lot of time and effort on trials and evidence fabrication |
A government that pretended to care | HAHAHAHAHA |
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall -- they're definitely desperation tactics. (More...)
Naked Australian Redhead -- Missing!
She posed naked on the web, fought for pornography online, and even kept an online "Diary of a Virtual Girlfriend." But after earning a place in internet history, Bernadette Taylor vanished without a trace. (More...)