Build Date: Thu Jan 23 02:30:18 2025 UTC
Lithium and Depakote and Neurontin work better.
But I'll admit, drinking is more fun.
-- Joe
What Wine Goes with Dick?
2004-02-05 22:02:26
Back in December 2002 we reported on how the German cannibal Armin Meiwes found a willing victim on the Internet whom he slaughtered and ate -- with the victim's help. The trial just ended, the verdict is in, and the jurors have ruled that Meiwes is not guilty... of murder.
Since the victim, known only as Bernd-Juergen B., sent e-mail to Meiwes begging to be eaten, the jurors ruled that Meiwes cannot be guilty of murder.
One message contained phrase "There's absolutely no way back for me, only forwards, through your teeth."
The two men first cut off Bernd-Juergen's penis, fried it, and sampled the delicacy together. In a few hours the blood loss from the wound caused Bernd-Juergen to pass out, at which time Meiwes stabbed him to death.
Meiwes videotaped the entire episode. The tape was shown in court, and one newspaper said a woman almost fainted during the screening, which in one scene shows Meiwes chatting to Bernd-Juergen's severed head while he disembowels the body, which is hung from a hook.
Meiwes cut the body into pieces and froze it, defrosting, cooking and eating 45 pounds of human flesh over the next several months.
Meiwes' lawyer was trying to get the charge of murder dropped to "killing of request." Euthanasia is illegal in Germany, but it only carries a sentence of six months to five years.
In the end the jury found Meiwes guilty of manslaughter and he was sentenced to eight and a half years behind bars. They felt that a murder conviction was inappropriate, since Bernd-Juergen was literally asking for it.
His lawyer described him as a "model prisoner", and said he could be released on good behaviour by 2008.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
