Build Date: Thu Apr 9 08:50:13 2026 UTC
Goddamn Fox News online is impossible to read through all the ads. They are fucking their own readers SO HARD.
-- Master Squid
Shake It, But Don't Break It
2002-03-02 04:18:40
Many kind readers have expressed a curiousity in what, exactly, boomshakalicious means. It is difficult to describe, but I'll try. It is so much more than just a word. It defines a certain Je Ne C'est Quoi or pizazz. It is a feeling, an attitude, a way of life. It's the thing that makes you dance to James Brown.
Boomshakalicious is comprised of three root words: Boom - to blow up, erupt or explode; Shaka - to shake, shimmy or wiggle; and Licious - tasty, flavorful or sumptuous. Boomshakalicious = explosive earth-shattering delicacy.
Very few have actually been able to fully embody boomshakaliciosity. It is a subliminal sense that requires a great deal of perspicacity. It's sexy, yet sophisticated. Bold, yet unassuming. Refined, yet obnoxious. Boomshakalicious is a feeling you get when that Special One you're hot for starts giving you the vibe. It is the sound you hear when a Hottie walks by (boomshaka-boomshaka-boom). It's the physical description in your personal ad when you are neither petite nor muscular. It has the power to attract people even when you ignore them ever so lovingly. It also has the power to frighten people away if you're not careful. It is the delicate balance between grace and obstreperousness.
You know you're boomshakalicious when: no matter how unattractive you feel, your friends continuously expound on your sex appeal without being prompted. You get more come ons at the market wearing sweats and curlers than dressed to the nines at The Next Big Thing. Nobody is surprised that you like porn. Offering someone a cocktail is boomshakalicious. Offering them Orgasm Cream is not. (Boomshakalicious people are not frigid.) Wearing a long sweater with no clothes underneath is. Showing more than an inch of butt crack is not. A trip to Vegas is. A trip to Guantanamo Bay is not. Cher is. Sonny, not.
Famous boomshakalicious people are Marilyn Monroe, Tina Turner and Mae West. Elvis is, of course, boomshakalicious. Even Jimmy Durante had a little boomshak going on. However, John Tesh has no boomshakaliciousness. Any item of clothing that resembles an endangered species or reveals a belly button is boomshakalicious. Uniforms are definitely boomshakalicious, especially doctor, nurse and police uniforms. Izods are not boomshakalicious. Neither is khaki (unless it is in the form of some type of uniform). Plaid is not always boomshakalicious, but kilts and catholic school girl uniforms are.
If it were a film category, it would house such classics as Beach Blanket Bingo, The Swinger and Viva Las Vegas. Boomshakalicious cannot be a music category. For if a certain song makes you FEEL boomshakalicious, then it is, to you at least. However, anything by George Clinton and/or Bootsy Collins is certainly boomshakalicious. Oh, and there's this DJ named Neel N. Kizmiaz - he is supercaliboomshakalicious.
France is boomshakalicious, but Canadia is not.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Last week I had eye surgery and it was certainly one of the least enjoyable episodes of my life. Eye Surgeons like their patients to be conscious enough so that they can move their eyes to the proper position during surgery. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
