Build Date: Tue Jan 21 05:00:14 2025 UTC
Subliminal messages inserted into Muzak may not work, but they've cranked them up at a couple of local stores in my area. I walk in the door and my head starts to buzz and my skin starts to crawl. Then again, maybe that's just my reaction to American consumer culture.
-- Baron Earl
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Pigdog Journal Articles
2001-12-04
In my never-ending search for bizarre anecdotes and very strange statistics, I've uncovered some astounding facts about "That Time of the Month" that you may not know about.
1999-03-13
One thing that everybody knows is that real shitty food looks gross. In an effort to prove that self-evident truism, Web guy James Lileks took the time to digitize and publish a lot of pictures of real bad food from third-rate cookbooks, adding his own captions along the lines of "This food is GROSS" and "What a disgusting pile of SHIT!" Yeah, it sounds kind of dumb and juvenile, but, HELL, so are we, and The Gallery of Regrettable Food gave us some pretty decent belly laughs.
1999-02-04
Squirrels are no longer content to simply damage property and brutalize people--now they are stooping to more insidious, less overt forms of terrorism, such as voyeurism and MIND CONTROL. The Jenny Jones Show web site exposes a bizarre case of a preverted squirrel ruining the sex life of an innocent young couple...
1998-11-18
Harvey Keitel is crazy! And kind of a gross dirtbag, too. Check out this Method-acting horror story on www.fucker.com!
1998-11-14
Look at this fiend who's offering $10,000 to anyone who will get him a bride. She must have the following attributes: "very attractive, brunette or blonde. 24-34, 5'4"-6', 110-135 lbs." AKA: Skinny with big tits. He'll give money to someone who's pimping a woman out, but not to the woman herself...
Offsite links shared by the author
2000-08-05
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
