Build Date: Wed Jan 15 09:50:32 2025 UTC
Hehehehe. Funny you should mention nitrous tonight...
-- Johnnie Royale
Dunkin' Idaho
Dunkin' Idaho sparkles like a quasar with his gar-iffic, rabble-rousing prose. A former mainframe Systems Programmer gone bad, he likes long walks on the beach, Scotch, and warm cigarettes -- and he hates Music Weasels, ever since his days running the shark ride at Universal Studios.
He's currently "seeking work." If you know what we mean....
Pigdog Journal Articles
2002-03-21
Canadia claims a separate, oh-so-unique Canadian culture. Then they flop for the RIAA, their legs in the air...
2002-03-17
Our Commander in Chief recently named an "Axis of Evil." But the real danger is his own Axis of Stupidity.
2002-02-13
There's a myth that Shakespeare liked lawyers, but he hated them. Yet, if he were alive today, he'd hate the lying, thieving accountants even more.
2002-02-06
Staggering up from a holiday-binge induced coma, this correspondent fears a Rip Van Winkle hallucination because it's looking a lot like Italy... in 1939.
2002-02-05
Amidst the recent dramas of killing friendly Afghans, letting corporate bastardos shred evidence, and watching politicos forget they got bought, a little bomblet snuck under the radar and almost made me drop my drink.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
Well dahlings, the response to my new tarot column has been quite overwhelming. I got three whole pieces of mail requesting my arcane insight. One asked why blogs suck so much, and one was a completely incomprehensible tale of bears shitting random numbers in the woods — I am fairly certain it was a cryptographic allegory. Howsomever, only ONE of the inquiries was accompanied by a crisp ten-dollar bill, and so it's the Gallup Organization that will this week reap the benefit of my wicked pack of cards. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
