Build Date: Sun Mar 9 21:50:45 2025 UTC
Coherence is for pussies!
-- Patient Joab
Weird Linux
Crazy people doing crazy things with Linux.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2002-05-27
It's a "What's your
2000-08-07
Laptop too big? Can't get Linux to run on your Palm Pilot? How would you like a fully working Linux system you can wear on your belt?
2000-05-16
NetReality - A linux OpenGL Web Utility.
2000-05-11
IBM is hella down with non-sucky computers.
2000-01-28
For the past three-odd years, WAN/LAN consultant Richard Couture has operated the CoffeeNet, a 100% Linux-based Internet cafe, at 744 Harrison near Third Street, San Francisco. Today is its last day of operation at the current location. (If you want to visit, do so before today's 2 PM closing time.)
2000-01-17
Hey, so you know those dorky-ass instant messenger programs like AIM and ICQ and stuff? And how dumb they are? You know? Well, OK, they're only kinda dumb. OK, I use them a lot. THERE, I SAID IT.
1999-11-08
Hey, so, what kind of fun is Linux anymore? Like, it's got GNOME, it's got KDE, it's got flaks and marketing d00ds and evangelists and all that shit. Seems like it's time to move on, right? Well, maybe not. Like Feynman said, there's always room at the bottom.
1999-08-16
GAAAAAH! I _TOLD_ YOU! I told EVERYONE that this Beowulf clusterfuck computing had gone TOO FAR! But nobody listened, and now these gooshy, group-grope computers have developed s00per-hUman intelligence with their sexy, disgusting genetic programming ways! You should have listened to me!
1999-08-16
Wow! I've talked before about bad Linux distributions, but Trinux might take the CAKE. It's the VERY BAD LINUX for VERY BAD HACKER PEOPLE. Beaujolais to that!
1999-06-16
I'm starting to waver. Are the BSDs -- FreeBSD, OpenBSD, NetBSD -- potentially filled with MORE BAD CRAZINESS than even Linux? Could such an OS possible EXIST? If it could, you'd find out on Daemon News.
1999-06-14
Hey! I always say that S.u.S.E. is the default weird Linux distribution, because it's got GERMAN CRAZINESS built into every CD. But now I'm not sure: MANDRAKE may be the new way to go!
1999-05-30
MOSIX is the hot new thing for cluster-building perverts. It's, like, a way to make a cluster that's even more biological and incestuous and juicy and disgusting than the old ways. There's lots of gross stuff that MOSIX does. Beaujolais!
1999-05-15
The Beowulf Underground is an evil subversive group bent on destroying everything we hold dear and sacred as computerists. Instead of nice, compartmentalized machines that send terse and appropriate messages over thin wires, they want to have big MONGOLIAN CLUSTERFUCK computers with Aqualube and Free Love and Open Source and gooey money shots of data splurting EVERYWHERE. To them I say, Beaujolais!
1999-03-31
OK, it's been completely documented that all Linux users are BAD PEOPLE. But now there's (highly unreliable) reports that Linux users are RIOTING IN THE STREETS. Goddamn, who do they think they are, BUDDHIST MONKS or something?
1999-03-10
So, I give German Linux advocates a lot of flak, since they are almost by definition the weirdest users of Linux ever. They do all the freaky Linux dances! But I gotta say that this research group at the University of Parma in Italy has them beat by a long shot. I mean, there's a world of difference between using Linux to play MP3s on your car stereo and USING LINUX TO DRIVE THE CAR.
1999-03-01
Let's say you're the editor of LinuxWorld and you want to make sure that you get the HIGHEST QUALITY coverage of your fancy Weird Linux event LinuxWorld Sexpo. Who are you going to call to make sure you get TOTAL COVERAGE?! The answer is clear, my friend: a man with the proven track record at a prestigious online journalism outlet, of course. That's why the editors chose NICK-O MOFFITT to give the detailed journalism to their coverage. Damn straight!
1998-12-09
Well, I'm not usually one to toot our own horn, but I have to crow about this: our coverage of the LinuxBierWanderung beats all the FAT, LAZY BIG DINOSAURS by a mile! Can you say, "scoop"? How about, "Ooh, that HURTS?"
1998-12-03
Electric Lichen is planning the Linuxbierwanderung, a WEEK-LONG Linux-and-Beer hiking extravaganza in the hills of Bavaria. The plan: walk and hack Linux all day, drink big beer in the beer halls all night!
1998-11-19
Man, I love German Linux users! They are sweaty, lolling-tongued madmen! Here in America, Linux advocates are busy doing boring crap like trying to get The Man to accept Linux. Meanwhile, the Germans are doing shit-crazy things like building the world's largest computer cluster on national TV!
1998-11-03
So, KMFMS stands for, uh, Kein Mitleid Fuhr MicroSoft, whatever the hell that means. They got the artist who does those cool brutal album covers for KMFDM to do a design for Linux. It's horrible and bizarre. And you can wear it as a T-Shirt!
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2021-04-12
2011-04-07
2011-03-01
2004-06-20
2002-08-15
2000-12-15
2000-10-04
1999-05-20
If you're using Linux on your bitchen Alpha machine, or you think maybe you want to, check out AlphaLinux.org.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
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The Once & Future King of Dust
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Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
From the mixed up files of citizen 566-77-0776 (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
