Build Date: Sat Dec 21 17:40:44 2024 UTC
... when the space-aliens find our crap in space, and see that it's full
of Forth, they won't be messing with us... 'cause they'll recognise a
bad-ass os when they see one.
-- Juggler Vain
Beverotology Today
Understandizing the NOBLE SCIENCE of Beverotology to the masses and shit.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2023-03-23
German brewery Klosterbrauerei Neuzelle has developed what it's calling "powdered beer". Add the powder to a glass of water and you get a glass of what looks and smells like beer. What they're not telling people are the serious downsides of their new beverage, drawbacks that offend the palate and sensibilities of beer drinkers everywhere. What they've invented is swill.
2011-04-08
From the Smoked Tomato Martini to the Bacon Mezcal Margarita, bars across Southern California are combining meat and alcohol in the same glass, giving birth to a beautifully bloated abomination, the meat cocktail.
2007-05-24
Knock, knock, knock... is this thing on? Hello??? Anybody out there? Guess it doesn't matter. Anyways, I'm back, for one article at least, maybe more. So what's all the big deal that drags Johnny Royale out of his drunken stupor? Well, ok, I'm still in a drunken stupor, but I have something to say.
2007-04-19
Bowing to pressure brought on by Pigdog Journal, the Minneapolis Metropolitan Airports Commission has finally caved. Passengers disembarking at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that they can now catch a cab no matter how much booze they're carrying.
2006-10-03
Discrimination involving Muslims has surfaced at an airport in Minnesota, but rather than fighting it airport officials are doing their best to institutionalize this blatant discrimination and make it their official policy.
2006-08-21
Americans need to know who their friends are and now. That's been a tall order since long before Archie Bunker wondered what trick Nixon had up his sleeve pretending to make peace with the ChiComs. Our own State Department is standing proof that you can spend seven years at Georgetown, ace the Foreign Service Exam, and still not know your Assyrians from your asshole.
2004-02-28
Finland is bracing for increased drinking this Monday, when state-regulated alcohol prices drop by nearly 40 percent.
2003-06-30
Jealousy... it makes one green and right now I’m emerald and lime. It seems for the first time in recorded medical history a person has two fully functional livers.
2002-06-02
One of the rewards of having friends from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds is that, by sharing their rituals and traditions, your own horizons are broadened. I've recently had the luck to witness a bit of the rich heritage shared by white boys in the bedroom community of Walnut Creek. The traditional foodways of Walnut Creek include many spicy and exotic dishes such as Mini Pizza Pockets and Instant Four-Cheese Pasta Helper. But flavorful as they are, none of these foods share in the loving reverence - the intense mystique - that surrounds the Big Gulp.
2002-04-22
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi.
2002-02-07
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie.
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2023-03-17
2019-03-23
2011-04-25
2011-04-25
2006-08-09
2005-12-15
Wanna drink something with bubbles in it sometime over the next couple of weeks but without breaking the bank? If you don't mind going through the registration rigamarole the New York Times can set you up.
2003-04-16
Because Fairfax is not an isolated incident.
2003-01-23
Boozing Rule #33: The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
2002-12-23
2002-12-05
Finally! A brilliant Vegas enjoyment system by a boner-gobbling cartoon alien. Area 51 unfortunately not mentioned.
2002-10-10
Meaning of the word 'tart'
2002-04-27
Liquor pops anyone?
2002-03-15
Guinness eyes are smiling.
2002-02-17
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
