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I like throwing stones in glass houses.
-- Johnnie Royale

Power Corrupts

Politics is an ugly business, which is what the Pigdog Journal does best.

Pigdog Journal Articles

2020-05-05

Blue Flame Medical smells like a Republican Scam
Maryland officials are looking into whether or not a company named after the colloquial term for lighting fart gas on fire is nothing but a scam. -- Baron Earl

2017-12-15

Fear and Loathing on Planet Arkuat
"I'd finally found Arkuat. Locked in a remote cabin, he was scrawling out his manifesto, where beer bottles shimmered over scattered bits of technology. I'm pretty sure he was building exploding duck decoys..." -- Arkuat

2007-03-25

A free press is annoying
..but if we show you these documents we will be embarrassed when you discover how tiny our weenies are. -- Michael Bakunin

2007-01-30

You down with OVP?
The Department of Information Retrieval meets the Office of the Vice President. -- Michael Bakunin

2006-02-23

Secret Service Agents say Cheney was Drunk
Secret Service Agents have reportedly stated that Vice President Dick Cheney was drunk at the time he shot Harry Whittington on a hunting trip two weeks ago. The day and a half delay in letting law enforcement onto the ranch to interview the hunting party gave the group plenty of time to sober up. -- Baron Earl

2003-02-26

Call Your Senator (an Ass-Sucking Bush-Wussy)
So, it's another Virtual March on Something -- this time on Washington, what with the INCIPIENT BLOODBATH coming any day now. The folks at Win Without War are organizing a big-ass mass-calling-mailing-faxing dealy, and you should be part of it, if only to cause mayhem and get people pissed off at you. -- Mr. Bad

2003-01-17

These Boots are Made for Marching
As the Bush Administration continues to bang the drums of war while moving hundreds of thousand of troops to the Middle East, millions of Americans are questioning why. Why are we going to war with Iraq? Is it because of oil? Is it because of terrorism? Is it because of weapons of mass destruction? Is it because Saddam is an evil-doer? Does he smell bad? Is it because he embarrassed the Bush the First? Just what’s the beef, dude? -- JRoyale

2003-01-13

Time to Put the Governor in Jail
With an estimated 35 Billion (that's a illion with a "B") budget deficit looming over the state of California, Gov. Gray Davis has been forced to slash just about every conceivable program in existence to meet the state’s constitutionally mandated balanced budget requirement. Every program regardless of merit, from schools, to roads, to agricultural advertising campaigns in Central Africa will share the pain. Every program that is, except the Department of Corrections. -- JRoyale

2002-11-01

ICANN Tells World to Fuck Off and Die
In a crushing blow to the freedom of the Internet, ICANN voted Thursday to permanently close elections to its board of directors, thus clearing the way for a small group of individuals to control the entire Internet DNS system with little or no oversight or accountability. -- LiquorPig

2002-10-03

Smallpox Vaccinations for EVERYONE
In an abrupt change from last year's policy, the selected Bush Administration is now considering vaccinating all 280 million Americans against smallpox. Unfortunately, this vaccine is not foolproof and 1 or 2 people per million will die when they are inoculated. -- JRoyale

2002-04-23

Israelis Oblivious to Godwin's Law
Over the past few weeks the Israeli press and government spokespeople have repeatedly reminded the world of the parallels between Europe of the 1930s and the modern Western world. -- The Compulsive Splicer

2002-04-19

Drill or the Terrorist Have Already Won
The Oil Companies attempt to gain corporate control to the ANWR through their private governmental subsidiary located that 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue failed miserably today as the Oil Barons were unable to even muster a simple majority to get the bill on the floor of the Senate. -- JRoyale

2002-04-18

Andre the Giant Has A Posse Comitatus
Donald Rumsfield has stated that the creation of a military command whose sole mission is to defend American territory will not erode legal limits on using federal troops inside U.S. Borders. Please note that the federal government has an exciting way of using the word "not." Some fun examples: Income tax will be a temporary 2% tax and will *not* remain after it is needed, Social Security Numbers will *not* be used to uniquely identify and track U.S. Citizens, the recently created and disbanded military Department of Lying to the Press will *not* be used to lie to the press, and Census information is confidential and will *not* be handed over to law enforcement agencies for pursuing individuals. Not. I love that word. -- Miles Standish

2002-04-18

Click Here To Purchase More Votes At Passport.Com!
Two terms I've seen recently that have caught my attention: "E-government" and "Identity Theft." It looks like Mark Forman has recently declared that they're considering using Microsoft Passport technology to identify citizens. Why do I find this less than comforting? -- Miles Standish

2002-04-18

Federal Judge Bitchslaps USAG John Ashcroft
US Attorney General John Ashcroft quest to cripple Oregon's Right to Die Law suffered a serious set back yesterday as a Federal Judge ruled that John Ashcroft and the United States government had no legal reason to prevent doctors in Oregon from distributing drugs that allow terminally ill patients to end their lives. -- JRoyale

2002-04-07

Fucking Lying Government Whores
Everybody knows that US needs more oil, especially since the Bush Administration simply REFUSES to either mandate improved energy efficiency or more importantly, invest in any sort renewable energy technologies. So sooner or later we are gonna run out of oil and the Bush Administration has a plan to make that date little latter then sooner. -- JRoyale

2002-03-17

The Ins and Outs of a Very Sucky 2002
Ever since the Supreme Court selected our current half-wit President, an ill wind has whipped this noble attempt at self-government, straining our will to persevere and chilling our resolve.  Large and very duplicitous forces are conspiring to reduce this nation into a bunch of mindless morons, braindead zombies and marketing whores, incapable of anything more then unquestioning obedience to the dictums of our self-anointed rulers.  Don't believe me???  Just look at the Ins and Outs of 2002 and tell me things haven't gone from bleak to horrible lately. -- JRoyale

2002-03-17

Shrub's Axis of Stupidity
Our Commander in Chief recently named an "Axis of Evil." But the real danger is his own Axis of Stupidity. -- Dunkin' Idaho

2002-03-02

Keep Your Hands Off of My PC
In a screeching rant that would make any PDJ author proud, Thom Greene of The Register rips into Senator Hollings (D - SC) and his ludicrous "dog and pony" SSSCA hearings Hollings held early this week. -- JRoyale

2002-02-27

PIMPMASTER W!
Our selected President, George W. Bush, announced his plans for welfare defor. . . I mean reform. The cornerstones of this administration's proposed policies, which are to be piled on top of the already horrific Clinton era "reforms", are work and "family formation." In typical "Republican Stormtrooper" fashion and following very nicely in the wake of the "War on Terror", the GOP is once again launching an assault on the poorest of the poor here in the Good Old US of A, all while claiming these draconian measures are for their own good. -- h.r.taffs

2001-11-11

So Gore Could Have Won
Immediately following the fiasco of the Florida Presidential elections late last year, many of the top news organizations in the lull that occurred between Clinton's dick and the apocalypse of 9-11, funded a study to recount the votes in Florida. -- JRoyale

2001-10-31

House of Cards
Now I'll admit to being somewhat hung over after dinner and a lot of drinks at some friends' house last night. But upon viewing the news of the House-passed "economic stimulus package," I had to run to the bathroom for session of deep, passionate, oral worship with my toilet. -- Reverend CyberSatan

2001-10-16

Wag the Fucking Dog Man, Wag the FUCKING Dog
As if things aren't weird enough these days, it seems that the one million dollar audit of the Florida presidential vote that the major news services paid will not be picked up. -- JRoyale

2001-08-19

How a Bad U.S. Law becomes a Bad International Law
If you've been paying attention for these last few weeks, you know by now that the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) is a rotten piece of law with over-zealous, unconstitutional restrictions on researchers. Finding a flaw in some company's copy protection software, or discussing that flaw in public, could land you in jail. Not content to wreck the U.S. Constitution, Hollywood's lawyers are now trying to incorporate the DMCA's restrictions into international law by getting its provisions added to the Free Trade Area of the Americas (FTAA) treaty. -- Baron Earl

2001-08-08

George W. Bush Confronts Online Insurrection
You can't have political dissent without a MIDI playing Devo's "Whip It." See George W. Bush! Dancing! In a tutu! In blue boxer shorts! -- El Destino

2001-08-04

Dmitry Sklyarov Bail Hearing on Monday - More Protests Planned
On MONDAY, AUGUST 6TH, Dmitry Sklyarov will be given a bail hearing in a San Jose courtroom. Here's what you can do to help get Dmitry set free... -- Baron Earl

2001-07-28

More Protests Scheduled for Monday
Still more protests demanding the release of Dmitry Sklyarov are scheduled for MONDAY, JULY 30TH, around the country. Protests will be happening in San Francisco, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, New York, and Seattle. -- Baron Earl

2001-07-26

Free Dmitry Sklyarov - March on the Feds!
After Monday's demonstrations, Adobe has decided that it no longer wishes to see Dmitry Sklyarov in prison. However, since the charges against him are criminal, not civil, the feds are keeping Dmitry on ice for now. -- Baron Earl

2001-07-22

Free Dmitry Sklyarov - March on Adobe!
Dmitry Sklyarov wrote a clever piece of software which showed that the encryption system used by Adobe software doesn't protect anyone's confidential information. Rather than fix the problem with their software Adobe chose to have Mr. Sklyarov arrested under a provision of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, which makes it a crime to demonstrate flaws in copyright protection schemes. -- Mr. Bad, Arkuat, Thom Stark, and Baron Earl

2001-06-03

Bush Threatens Press!
The first impression I got of George W. Bush was that his campaign had tried to reserve every single domain name that might sound like a criticism of him. "bushsucks.com" and whatnot all pointed to his campaign stuff. "Here," said I, "is a man who will eventually become outraged at the press and do something scary like that Comidus guy in Gladiator." Only Gladiator wasn't out yet, I think. -- Miles Standish

2001-01-24

Ungovernerable mob confronts Bush illegitimacy
15,000 angry Americans protested the Bush inaugural cermonies, just in San Francisco, the local paper reported. Six Pigdog Journal staffers were on the scene... -- El Destino

2000-11-21

Larry Flynt Takes on George Bush
We all know about soon-to-be-president Bush's coke-snorting, drunken, frat-boy past. But Larry Flynt, a man not afraid to get down into the cesspool and pull up skeletons buried Mafia-style has some new evidence. -- Flesh

2000-11-13

The "Radical" Middle of American Politics. It Ain't Pretty (in more ways then one)
Ya know, one of the great things those on the margins of American politics is that they at least know how to fucking mount a protest. Like those WTO protestors in Seattle. They sure raised a HELL of a ruckus. -- JRoyale

2000-11-10

GREAT ELECTION COMEDY, PART DUH
The Rev gives it to you like it is: election day blues. -- Reverend CyberSatan

2000-11-09

The Numbers Show That There Are An Unusual Number of Nazis In Palm Beach
So check this out: This feller at CMU has done some VERY SIMPLE statistical analysis on voting patterns in Florida. And apparently either there's a lot of complete nutbag Nazi freaks in Palm Beach County, or something went wrong with that notorious ballot. -- Mr. Bad

2000-11-09

News FLASH!!! Demos Assured of a White House Victory
Democrats have secret weapon in race for President. -- JRoyale

2000-11-07

$3 Billion and Look at the Mess it Bought. I Want a Refund.
The Washington Post today calculated that the amount of the money raised by politicians for the upcoming election will over 3 Billion Dollars. GAG! -- JRoyale

2000-10-31

Think Locally. Vote Nationally.
This site is for all you liberals who are just too afraid of Bush to vote for Nader. -- Sam

2000-10-27

Michael Moore Says... Vote Nader
Ok, so this isn't such a big surprise. Moore is like this super big, super old time progressive. -- JRoyale

2000-10-26

Time to Vote...
Ever wonder how your favorite (or least favorite) PDJ editor is gonna vote come this Nov 7th. Well, we'll tell ya. -- JRoyale

Offsite links shared by staff writers

2019-01-17

2006-10-01

Fuck religion
Stuff like this makes me want to believe in hell, which is not what an atheist likes. -- Michael Bakunin

2004-06-20

2003-01-28

It's All So Clear Now
This would explain just about everything. -- Miss Conduct

2002-04-11

These Caibou Will Be Held Accountable
Now make NO mistake, these caribou will be held accountable (Flash) -- JRoyale

2001-07-28

2001-07-28

freedmitry.org -- Baron Earl

2001-04-04

2001-02-15

2001-01-24

Bush Is Stupid -- El Destino

2000-11-11

Bush-bashing fun -- El Destino

2000-11-09

I Have to Admit That This Is Particularly Satisfying
I have to admit that this is particularly satisfying. -- Mr. Bad

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