Build Date: Thu Nov 21 09:10:26 2024 UTC
Hey, Tjames, pull my virtual finger.
-- Johnnie Royale
Crackdown!
I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka!
Pigdog Journal Articles
2007-09-09
Last night in New York City, a big monster cop raced into a crowd of demonstrators during an early street action for the 9/11 anniversary, specifically singling out documentary filmmaker and popular talk show host, Alex Jones, and handcuffed him with extreme prejudice and excessive grunting, nearly chopping the media activist's hands off.
2006-03-01
Former Attorney General John Ashcroft said he makes "no apologies" for finding every legal way to protect the public, which includes anally-raping suspects with flashlights until their asses bleed.
2006-02-17
The U.S. Department of Veteran's Affairs is investigating Laura Berg, one of their staffers, for the crime of sedition after Berg wrote a "letter to the editor" in a local Albuquerque paper criticising the Bush Administration.
2005-12-19
When asked about his authorization of wiretaps within the United States today, President Bush responded "Do I have the legal authority to do this? And the answer is, absolutely." Considering the past mistakes and omissions of this administration it's worthwhile to check and see if what the President says is true. Unsurprisingly, he's wrong again.
2005-12-08
Reducing the Medicare rolls one nut at a time.
2005-02-10
So, you're lighting some candles (and maybe a fattie) for your niece's second birthday, when all of a sudden you are instantly transported into the last ten minutes of True Romance. Only it's way less fun, because, well, your kids are about to get a cap busted in their baby asses and you don't have Christian Slater there to be So Cool and save the day.
2003-04-23
So, you're coming home from work, when suddenly armed government agents show up in the parking lot and take you away to prison. They also send a team, armed with assault rifles and bulletproof vests, into your home to confront your wife and kids. You don't know what you possibly could have done, and nobody will tell you anything. You stay in prison. Weeks go by.
2002-09-10
Some of you have come to think of Cheney as the Invisible Man, while others of you cannot shake the image of No Hair the Pirate. This naturally depends on whether you want to ask him questions about his Halliburton dealings or if you want to add more viscosity to his already greasy palm. While the debate rages about actual existence of Cheney's heart (say, wasn't that surgery to install rather than repair?), developments in Cheney's apocalyptic cheerleading demonstrate something that Mrs. Cheney has known for years: the li'l Dick hasn't worked since the day Richard Nixon resigned.
2002-08-09
One recent addition to airport security measures has been to force passengers to take a sip from any open containers of liquids they may be carrying, to prove that the liquid is harmless. The law of unintended consequences was in full force when a Long Island woman was forced to drink from each of three bottles of her own breast milk in front of other passengers before boarding her plane.
2002-07-27
A woman is suing Delta Airlines for publicly humiliating her after a vibrator she bought in Las Vegas started buzzing in her luggage.
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2023-10-08
2002-08-16
2002-08-15
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Tastes like key lime pie, gets you hammered like nobody's business: Introducing the Key Lime Spocktail! (More...)
