Build Date: Wed Dec 18 01:50:23 2024 UTC
well, even the fringe needs a fringe
-- rotten elf
Broad View
Miss Conduct views it all from a broad's perspective.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2003-07-11
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks.
2003-01-24
This thing passed through my inbox today and it got me to thinking: I wonder what would happen if we all forgot to pay our taxes...
2002-03-02
Many kind readers have expressed a curiousity in what, exactly, boomshakalicious means. It is difficult to describe, but I'll try. It is so much more than just a word. It defines a certain Je Ne C'est Quoi or pizazz. It is a feeling, an attitude, a way of life. It's the thing that makes you dance to James Brown.
2001-12-27
The War on Terrorism is a success! I witnessed this Anti-Terrorism first hand last weekend on my way to an International Toy Distribution Convention. The Airline Industry Security Measures have virtually wiped out terrorism. There is just one minor drawback, you must fly nude.
2001-10-16
Have you ever sat around a campfire enjoying some edifying cock talk with a couple of friends when someone starts to eavesdrop? You look in their direction and notice they are interested in your conversation. Decorum dictates that you introduce yourself and your friends. Next thing you know this social interloper is beckoning you with a beleaguered "What did they say?" at each conversational volley. "They said PROSTATE," you bellow. The stranger decides that paying attention to the conversation at large is too laborious, so they focus on you. And there is no better ice breaker in their arsenal than the question, "So what are you: gay, straight or bi?"
2001-09-25
Hello, my name is Miss Conduct and I've been very, very bad. A terribly sick and disturbed part of me gets really excited when skyscrapers fall. It makes me feel dirty.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
