Build Date: Tue Dec 3 17:20:16 2024 UTC

Scientists that live in glass labs, surrounded by fragile beakers of highly toxic materials, shouldn't throw frozen heads.
-- Johnnie Royale

This May Explain Love

by Negative Nancy

1999-12-20 12:19:35

Some crazy wacked-out sadistic freaks at Johns Hopkins Hospital forced a bunch of poor smucks to hold their hands in buckets of freezing water until the pain became unbearable. Half the guinea-pigs were asked to fantasize about sex, the other half were got to day dream about something dull like walking to class. Turns out shock! thinking about launching your moisture seeking love missile can help lessen the pain of freezing cold water -- or the fact that your significant other is a big pain in your ass...

This may be nature's way of allowing men and women to tolerate each other long enough for the species to reproduce. So next time the ol' ball 'n chain is railin' on you for something, remember, you've got the power of SCIENCE on your side! Just close your eyes and imagine balling that cute little thing from the office and feel the pain of failure, humiliation and defeat, float away...

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

jared@pigdog.org

T O P   S T O R I E S

Vinyl Nation: A Documentary Dig into the Record Resurgence

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Quickies