Build Date: Thu Jan 30 05:10:34 2025 UTC
I suspect you're being purposefully dense in order to make some sort of obscure point.
-- enigma
More Sick Clustering Bastards
1999-05-30 00:41:38
MOSIX is the hot new thing for cluster-building perverts. It's, like, a way to make a cluster that's even more biological and incestuous and juicy and disgusting than the old ways. There's lots of gross stuff that MOSIX does. Beaujolais!
Actually, MOSIX is pretty copacetic. Clusters, as you know, are when you squish together a whole bunch of computers to make one big supermodel sexpot computer. Old-style clustering technologies made you have special programs that used special APIs to make the clustering happen. With Mosix, you don't have to do that. It's INVISIBLE. You could be cluster-computing right now! How would you know?
Mosix is made by researchers from Israel, which I don't know what to tell you. I remember when like the Israeli programmers all they did was make viruses all the time. They made better viruses than Bulgarians! And more of them! Real sicko viruses that, like, would make your monitor explode and send shards of glass into your eye! That real bad kind!
But now all of a sudden they're making crazy clusters. I guess they went from violence to sex. Anyways, make sure you check out the coolio pictures of their 100-node Mosix cluster. It's GROSS! Triple-X hot I/O action! Go there NOW!
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!" (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
