Build Date: Thu Nov 21 12:00:18 2024 UTC
Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube.
-- HST
Masonic Ritual 1: Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
1999-05-23 07:03:56
Star Wars characters are modern day representations of Egyptian gods? Anakin Skywalker actually Osiris? We should have suspected something masonic afoot when George Lucas started making movies like Raiders of of the Lost Ark, and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, with all that business about the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail -- occult mythology deeply related to Freemasonry...
Okay, I ponied up my eight bucks to see Star Wars: Episode 1, and I gotta say, it really wasn't that bad. It was a big special effects / production-design intensive movie, and those are just about always worth watching on that basis alone. The only thing I found really strange about the movie was they obviously spent oodles of money on computer generated aliens and robots, but when the scary dude arrived for the lightsaber battle at the end, his costume consisted simply of red grease paint and little horns glued on his head. I thought, "Who's this guy in Kiss makeup...?"
But it wasn't as bad as the critics said, certainly no worse than the first few movies. Maybe the critics are overromanticizing those earlier movies. After all, they had muppets (Yoda), bigfoot (Chewbacca), and teddy bears (Ewoks) in them. How good could they have been?
On USENET, a few people have been floating the idea that some of the critical flack might be part an organized disinformation campaign to turn people off to the movie because of certain resemblances events in movie have to the current war in Kosovo (read: NATO = The Federation). Yeah, hah, pretty far fetched...
There's actually a much scarier conspiracy angle to the new Star Wars movie. You have to hand it to Daniel Perez over at Global Conspiracy. He's uncovered evidence that George Lucas is a 33rd degree Freemason, and the characters in Star Wars are thinly veiled depictions of Egyptian gods! The Egyptian gods and symbolism are important in the rituals of Scottish Rite Freemasonry. By pointing out the similarities in costume and character, he makes a case that Anakin Skywalker is Osiris, Queen Amidala is Isis, Darth Vader is Seth, and Luke Skywalker is Horus.
These mythological characters are related to constellations, and the release date of The Phantom Menace was specifically engineered so the stars would be in symbolic positions above certain places on Earth, including Lucas's headquarters, Skywalker Ranch. I'm listing only a few of the masonic connections Perez has uncovered. It's a fantastic expose!
There are even connections between vehicles in the Star Wars films to a series of hieroglyphics in the Abydos Temple in Abydos, Egypt, a temple for the worship of Osiris (Skywalker)!
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Grow better illegal mushrooms than lousy "Psilocybe fanaticus"
Disclaimer: PaoTzu's a1 illegal mushroom cultivation cookbook is meant for educational purposes only. Be aware of the techniques used by hardcore criminals! Protect your children! Read, learn, educate. Do not try this at home. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)