Build Date: Thu Nov 21 11:50:15 2024 UTC
I hate you non-smokers with all of my little black fucking heart, you obnoxious, self-righteous, whining little fucks, my biggest fear, if I quit smoking, is that I'll become one of you.
-- Bill Hicks
Three Words: Guerrilla Queer Bar
2000-10-27 00:27:03
So, you're gayer than an Easter parade, you like to drink, you live in San Francisco, and you're sick of the constant dumbing-down of the Most Wonderful City Ever Invented. What do you do? You got it: Guerrilla Queer Bar.
The folks who organize, so to speak, the Guerrilla Queer Bar call it "Part street party, part anti-gentrification protest act, and part guerrilla theater." The deal works like this:
Take your average horrible disgusting yuppie bar in the City. You know, the kind with guys with ties or blue denim-y button downs with the company logo ("Broccoli.com") over the breast pocket. All the women are wearing LBDs or Corporate Cyber Wear (TM). There are potentially rugby shirts in the house. There's lite alterna-rock playing in the background. It's vapid. It's an insult to your intelligence. It's a cauliflower-sized goiter on the World's Most Fabulous City. Nauseous yet?
Now, imagine a SURPRISE VISIT by a huge crowd of BIG FREEEEKS and CRAZY FAGS and the people who love them. Add leather and drag queens and pumping music. Think BIG HAIR. Think CHAPS. Now, get them STINKERS DRUNK. LEWD DANCING ensues. Much crazy kissing between folks with 3-day beards. Beaujolais!
I just got to say I love this Guerrilla Queer Bar idea. Actually, I like any guerrilla idea. And BARS are pretty great, too. And making people squirm. These are all concepts I stand strongly behind. Beaujolais for Guerrilla Queer Bar!
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)