Build Date: Tue Jul 8 05:21:33 2025 UTC
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.
-- HST
Communion Anal Probe Scene Museum
1999-08-24 05:31:51
Many people consider Christopher Walken's finest acting job to be his roll in The Deer Hunter, the 1978 film about the effects of Vietnam. He garnered the Best-Supporting-Actor Oscar for it. However, his true tour de force is Communion, a greatly under appreciated film about bad, buggerin' aliens.
Communion is the film adaptation of nebbishy author Witley Strieber's true story of alien abduction. "The Visitors," as they are called, repeatedly kidnapped him and performed horrible probing maneuvers on him in their spaceship. Christopher Walken plays Witley Strieber.
What makes the film interesting is that Christopher Walken manages to make Witley Strieber seem like a normal person. Walken is so good at playing evil freakouts, that its hard to remember sometimes that he can also play the Everyman quite well.
What makes the film INCREDIBLE is that Christopher Walken is basically cast against a bunch of paper mache puppets, yet it works. Sometimes the aliens look like cardboard cutouts on sticks. Some of them look like midgets in Halloween masks. But Walken manages to make them all ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING (I mean more terrifying than midgets in Halloween masks already are). His roll amounts to a series of fantastic monologues. The monologues of a desperate man trying to reason with aliens. Talk to them. Persuade them from going for his bunghole.
And now, some Web site calling itself "The Doogieland Amusement Park" has a page devoted to one of the most horrifying scenes in Communion, the anal probe scene, complete with pictures and wav files. It is a wonderful museum.
Go there now.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Place the Lighter on the Ground and Let Us See Your Hands
So I have been thinking on this whole flag burning issue and all the things it could imply. Now a lot of people right now are saying that there are more important issues at stake and something so trivial is a waste of time. Believing such is really losing sight of some very key changes happening in our nation right now. Being a strict conservative, and currently serving in Iraq, I was surprised to find that I am actually appalled that the House approved a ban on flag burning. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
