Build Date: Wed Oct 30 19:50:07 2024 UTC
I realize Webvan is going to fold any second, but do you realize they are giving away FREE HAM!?!
-- Quaker State Tapioca Rupture
Hey, Maybe Matt McConaughey Isn't So Bad After All
1999-10-27 12:34:29
Jeezus peezus! Crazy-ass Matt McConaughey is BUSTED in TEXAS! Which is a shitty place to get busted, let me tell you! Mother fuck!
I gotta say that I have NEWFOUND RESPECT for Matt McConaughey. Beaujolais to him! He was arrested after a disturbance in his home where he was found DANCING NAKED and PLAYING THE BONGOS! Go, Matty, go!
I've never really liked this guy, but everyone must admit that this is a KICKASS way to fly! Most losers like Robert Downey Jr. flit in and out of Betty Ford and whine a lot in exclusive Hollywood clubs where a Bombay Sapphire martini costs $17. But Matt McConaughey smokes big DOPE in his AUSTIN HOME and dances like a BURNING MAN FREAK. Folks, I think I LIKE THIS GUY.
Of course, the media coverage is pretty cruel -- they make a point of noting that Matty was in "Dazed and Confused," which was of course a STONER MOVIE about STONERS and stuff with lots of DRUGS. They didn't point out that he was in "Lone Star," of course, because that's a COP MOVIE with lots of COPS doing stuff like TAKING BRIBES and KILLING MEXICANS. That's not something the AP stringers in Austin like to talk about. Much better to see the funny stoner dance. Look at the funny stoner!
I think this whole incident begs the question: is Matt McConaughey the next Woody Harrelson? I hope so, because Woody's starting to look a little ragged around the edges if you ask me. In any event, I encourage everyone of the cannabian persuasion to ROAST a BIG FAT BONGLOAD tonight for Matt McConaughey, Stoner Celebrity of the Week!
T O P S T O R I E S
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
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SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
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Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Absinthia: The Pigdog Interview
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The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
