Build Date: Wed Oct 30 19:50:08 2024 UTC
i don't need meds, i just need pretty pigments.
-- rotten elf
Won't Get Fooled Again
2000-07-24 19:07:31
Hey, so, ever been burned buying drugs? I haven't, of course, but that's because Mr. Bad gets high on life. You kids should too. Say Ugh to Drugs and Nope to Dope and all that shit. This has been a public service announcement.
OK, but let's say that you DID buy drugs, like as a hypothetical situation and shit. I've yet to find a shrink-wrapped pack of E that had nutritional information on the side and a 1-800 customer service line. Drug prohibition makes it quite easy for you or I (umm... I mean, YOU. As I mentioned before, Mr. Bad gets high on life) to get seriously fucked by unscrupulous dealers who give us bunk for our bank.
Now, wouldn't it be cool if there were a way to check that the drugs you're buying are at least the drugs you THINK you're buying? Like, I mean, a BETTER way than just putting them in your brain and monitoring what happens? ("Hmmm... bleeding from the ears... shortness of breath... heart fibrillation... catastrophic brain damage... coma... something tells me that pill wasn't what I thought it was.")
I totally think so. That's why I dig the new wave of portable drug testing kits that are starting to come out. I haven't seen any for anything but Ecstasy and speed, but that's probably OK for now. Like, I expecially enjoy the fancy EZTest kits, since they not only come in coolio R4V3R colors and stuff, but they also are EZ. Get it?
But after I started writing this article, I realized that you can also get testing kits from DanceSafe a>. And DanceSafe is so cool, I just gots to point you there instead. Go buy lots of testing kits! Take them to parties or to synagogue or whatever! Give them to friends as Christmas gifts! Beaujolais!
T O P S T O R I E S
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SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
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It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)