Build Date: Thu Jan 30 05:40:36 2025 UTC
A reasonable doubt for a reasonable fee
-- Dr. Gonzo
It's 4/20! Smoke Em if You Got Em!
2000-04-20 17:57:17
So, here's my big conspiracy theory that I just made up: why do so many baddy-bad things seem to keep happening on April 20th? Hmm? Why? The Waco fire, the Oklahoma City bombing, the little disturbance in Littleton -- what's the CONNECTION!?
I'll tell you what the connection is: the MAN is trying to keep us DOWN. All those horrible things are just a big distraction by the PHEDS to try and make people associate FIRE, MURDER, BLOOD and DESTRUCTION with the most wonderful of pothead celebrations, FOUR-TWENTY DAY.
4/20 (just like 4:20, get it?) is this kind of fabulous spontaneous holiday that serious pot smokers take real serious. It's not about self-righteous speeches and medical mari-joo-wanna and all that kind of boring stuff. It's about going to SAN FELIPE or PISMO BEACH with a bunch of other stoneheads in your VAN and taking MONSTER BONG HITS until your hands and feet fall off because you're just way too high. Now THAT is a holiday, my friends! No two ways about it!
OK, that conspiracy theory is pretty much not true. But it sounds good. Anyways, who wants to get all SADDY-SAD and retrospective and shit on 4/20 when you could go out and smoke some BIG GOBS of HASHISH with your friends instead!? What kind of choice is that? No choice at all, I say! Go smoke! Go! Go!
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
