Build Date: Sat Feb 22 13:10:40 2025 UTC
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-- Winston Churchill
Vulcan Steel in the Hour of Chaos
2002-04-18 15:00:13
It occurs to me every now and again, like right now, for instance, that compared to some of my other Pigdog associates, I'm just not all that political. I just like Spock, basically.
It's not that I'm apolitical, or dull-witted... not too much anyway, although I still have trouble figuring out the plots to most Starsky and Hutch episodes. No, I'm fairly interested in the world around me. I voted Green. OK, that's a bad example because the main reason I voted Green was I wanted to see Ralph Nader mumble on TV a lot.
I'm paranoid and depressive, see? I pretty much worry about everything that anyone anywhere does at any time. So if I actually sat down and worried about what the government was doing every second of the day, I would never sleep. In fact, I would just watch old Hanna Barbera cartoons from the 60s, like Space Ghost, or that really odd one with the caveman and his young boy concubine. I don't understand that one at all. What is that boy doing with the caveman? Who are they fighting? What are they saying? I must study their habits some more....
Whoops. See, almost got off the track again. The only cure to this sort of proscribed apathy, of course, is to go off on ebay and look at stuff like this.
Holy Jesus! Who buys that sort of thing? And why? And how come Spock looks so, er, mincing in that photo? Not to be political incorrect or what, but Spock looks damn gay in that pose if you ask me.
The point is, I think, that when times are troubled and bad news has got you down, you can always go look up Spock on the good old world wide squirrel. Forget about Ashcroft, or the secret War Tribunals, or the Suspension of the Bill of Rights, or the US government's exciting use of the word "not". Just get your Spock on, y'all.
Like this guy, at the link helpfully provided below. He takes his Spock shit super serious-like:
"He wore pointed ears and a very straight face, showed no emotion and lived by logic. That was Spock, the executive officer who was second billed and best loved in the 'Star Trek' cast. "
That's just crazy. This whole page seems to be an ultra-serious appraisal of actual Spock music. Nuts. Crazy. Brilliant.
"In this album, Spock talks in tales and pointers which were originally precognitions visualized when Apollo was itself in infancy. And delight in the stories for the retained power they show for our present."
Actually, I think these were the liner notes from one of Spock's albums. It's amazing to think that people in suits, at some point in time, actually believed the record-buying public would swallow such total bullshit. But there you have it.
Blot out unpleasant reality. Feed your inner Spock.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!" (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)