Build Date: Fri Jan 30 23:40:07 2026 UTC
Tanks don't kill terrorists. They don't really discriminate.
-- Ragboy
Jeff Gerstmann Got a Posse
1999-08-24 21:22:56
How cool is THIS: Veteran Pigdog Journalist Jeff "No Pants" Gerstmann is back in the ring to take another swing! And this time it's PERSONAL!
See, "No Pants" has been a part of the Pigdog community since back in the day. He wrote the big- hit-getting article about his night with Ron Jeremy for the highly-crazed and sideways In The Pink issue of PDJ.
Now, he's writing a column for this sicko crazy Web site, videogames.com. I admit that I haven't read much of this site, but I don't think I'm going out on a limb here by saying it's about video games and shit. All kinds of video games! The writing's pretty damn, good, too! For a bunch of gamer freak-os, I mean. Y'know.
Anyways, Jeff's got a column and stuff on this videogames.com site. It's called "Gerstmann Goes Off!", and it even has an exclamation point and like that. AND it has a little Kim Rollins fnord, too! "This is my column. There are many like it, but this one is mine." Or maybe that's from something else that I don't know about. It sounds kind of military, actually. Or like something Maya Angelou would say.
OK, but "No Pants" is apparently hot shit on a dry shingle over at the videogames.com site, I think! He's listed as "reviews editor" on the colophon page. But you have to check out how far down on the page his name is! All those marketroids and advertising villains are listed before all the editorial staff. Even the JANITOR is listed before J "NP" G. Why is that? I don't know. Upside-down priorities, if you ask me.
Anywho, if you dig games, or Ron Jeremy, or whatever, you should move on over and check out videogames.com! Really! Say hi to "No Pants" for us! And tell him to get off his high horse and come write some shit for PDJ again, eh?
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
Place the Lighter on the Ground and Let Us See Your Hands
So I have been thinking on this whole flag burning issue and all the things it could imply. Now a lot of people right now are saying that there are more important issues at stake and something so trivial is a waste of time. Believing such is really losing sight of some very key changes happening in our nation right now. Being a strict conservative, and currently serving in Iraq, I was surprised to find that I am actually appalled that the House approved a ban on flag burning. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
