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Of course, it is always easier to whine... Goodness knows we prove that on Pigdog-l every Goddamn Day.
-- Johnnie Royale
French gonzo wannabes -- and a clown
2001-11-14 02:10:24
"We are the French revival of Gonzo Journalism !" their self-promoting email read. "Would you agree on a link exchange ?"
Actually, their email began with the words "Hello. Guess who ?" That must be some coy French joke. I'm picturing a pouty maid named Babbette in one of those frilly black-and-white outfits. "Hello. Guess who ?" she burbles, as she covers my eyes with her immaculate fingers....
Er, okay, 95 percent of my knowledge of France is limited to Inspector Closeau movies. And the cartoon version where the cabs never stopped for the Inspector, and he'd end up complaining to "Inspector Doo Doo." And that time Alvin and the Chipmunks sang a Maurice Chevalier song. But even so, I'm having a hard time picturing the "French revival of Gonzo journalism." Aren't all French people laughably preening and effete? By definition?
I'd tell you more about their web site, but NeoGonzo.com gives this message when you click on its link for an English version. "Who the fuck do you think you are ? I had to learn your fucking language to go and watch your god damn movies, so if you wanna read my words, go to school motha fucka, and learn French." Well, okay, but there's a difference between being gonzo and being an asshole. Not that the French would know. Especially mincing Frenchmen who open their email to strangers by saying "Hello! Guess who?"
So that's about all I have to report -- except that their web page has a picture of "NeoGonzo Le Clown." (Which, according to Babelfish, translates to "NeoGonzo, the clown.") It's designed to look like Hunter S. Thompson, but with a cute bulbous red nose. Apparently it corresponds to an article on the site which Babelfish translates as " 'The largest caberet of the world': the truth is elsewhere." I'm assuming it must be about the dark tortured genius of Marcel Marceau.
So at this point, I'd have to conclude that being gonzo takes more than sending an email to someone in which you call yourself gonzo. And more than tucking the word "gonzo" into the name of your clown mascot. It's customary at Pigdog Journal to end each article with a link where readers can check things out themselves, but in this case I'm sticking with the crazed neo-disciples that I'm already familiar with. So the link below leads to my best example of some true bad-ass French gonzo entertainment.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
It was Friday night at the Casa de Baron and everything was in place -- a group of friends had assembled, people were setting things on fire in the backyard, and a Ferry Corsten double-live CD was playing on the stereo. Everything was in place to make further scientific advances in beverage research and leisure technology. (More...)
Boo-zho-lay for you, Pigdog reader! Another fine Spocktail of the week is available for you. And this week's offering is EXTRA special and fancy, since it celebrates the birthday of Pigdog's own STAR TWINS! (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
