Build Date: Fri Mar 14 05:20:18 2025 UTC
RoR, man... deli meat and black, black blood
-- Doctor Murdock
The October Suprise Revealed
2000-10-25 09:06:41
We've waited on the edges of our seats for the so-called "October Suprise" to be revealed in this election year. What would it be? Where would it come from? Well, the waiting is finally over, and you won't believe what it is!
From their bunker in Kansas, notorious hate-mongers Fred Phelps and his son (who are both so right wing that even the likes of Jerry Fallwell & Jesse Helms disavow them) publicly released photos and a story of Al Gore seeking their support.
According to Phelps, in 1988, Gore visited the Westboro Baptist Church, preaching a message of anti-gay and anti-abortion stances. "He sounded like an old Southern Baptist preacher" Phelps is quoted as saying.
But this story doesn't end here. You see, it's one thing for an ultra- rightwing hate group (with ties to various racist groups) to say that a presidential contender wooed them years ago, but it's a totally different ballgame when there's photographic proof. The only way for Gore to undo the damage done by these photos, would be to unearth a video of Bush dressed in Klan robes raping an underaged girl at gunpoint as he snorts cocaine off his wife's ass. And the chances of that happening are null & void. Anything like that was most likely destroyed years ago when Bush Senior was Commander in Chief.
At the time of this writing, this news hasn't hit the mainstream press (hell, even Matt "The Hack" Drudge" hasn't figured it out) - but the clock is ticking.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
