Build Date: Tue Dec 3 17:00:14 2024 UTC
Better seek treatment before you start imagining that Marilyn Monroe is your mom.
-- Master Squid
Scoop Scoopy-Doop
1999-05-05 06:18:21
With all the crazy speculating and deep musing that the Colorado massacre has every would-be essayist and journalist doing, it's not surprising that a few people would eventually make the same observation. Once all the obvious and some of the insane accusations have been made, some people are going to start looking at the bigger picture. So I wasn't too taken aback to find a Salon article echoing one of last week's Pigdog Journal stories.
That, of course, isn't going to stop us from hyping the fact that We said it first!! Ha Ha Sucker!! Little ol' Pigdog Journal scooped big, important, look-who's-going-public Salon!! Now the word is out! Now people know where to turn for fast-breaking, in-depth analysis, and general rantings about today's news stories!!!
Then, there's Oliver Green, our Southeast Asia correspondent. He's been scooping the AP wire every day on this Cambodian shit. Crazy, but true, look:
Pigdog in Cambodia (1999-04-30 21:31) by Oliver Green
Five days later, AP wire finally catches on:
Khmer Rouge Torturer Disappears (1999-05-04 17:02).
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
Negative Nancy, touring the gin joints of the world, sent us her latest Spocktail creation, The Inattentive Beachcomber, which she concocted and field tested somewhere in South East Asia. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
