Build Date: Fri Dec 27 01:10:07 2024 UTC
I just think it's important to note that nobody needs to have special equipment on hand if the opportunity to piss on Mitch McConnell's grave suddenly comes up.
-- Frankenstein Jones
Welcome to a fucking WORLD of WONDER
1999-05-04 23:24:53
After months of agony and anticipiation, we've FINALLY come to the point where we have something we WANT TO SHARE with you, our beloved public. What is it? The NEW and EVER-IMPROVING PIGDOG JOURNAL. WEE-HAW! SPOCK GOT GAME! You can even eat the DISHES.
Longtime readers will note that we've changed our look and our format. The look thing was, well, kind of inevitable. Tjames says that our old color format was reminiscent of Hotdog Stand. I tend to agree.
But we've also changed the way things are organized and STREAMLINED like a MOTHERFUCKER the way you get from point A to point B. And behind the schenes, we've made it easier for the INTERNATIONAL PIGDOG CONSPIRACY to donate BRAIN CAPITAL to the cause. All of this leads to a finer dining experience as you crack your teeth on the great taste of Pigdog Journal.
So come with me, and you'll see into a world of PURE IMAGINATION. Look around and try the NEW CRAP. And let us know what you think.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
