Net Flotsam
2001-10-19 01:07:22
A lot of humorous stuff rolled in off the web today and since I'm tired of looking that feature about the Free Dimtry Hearing on September 24th I'd thought I'd smash them all together sort like they do on Slashdot every once in a while and see how it goes. Enjoy.
AFGHAN TV GUIDE
MONDAYS
7:30 PM - I Dream of Fatima
8:00 PM - Husseinfeld
8:30 PM - Mad About Everything
9:00 PM - Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 PM - The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show
10:00 PM - Allah McBeal
TUESDAYS
7:30 PM - I Love Sheep
8:00 PM - Wheel of Terror & Fortune
8:30 PM - The Price Is Right If Osama Says It's Right
9:00 PM - Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things
9:30 PM - Afghanistan's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
10:00 PM - Buffy - The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
WEDNESDAYS
7:30 PM - Talibantubbies
8:00 PM - U.S. Military Secrets Revealed
8:30 PM - When Northern Alliance Attacks
9:00 PM - Two Guys, a Girl and a Pita Bread
9:30 PM - Just Shoot Everyone
10:00 PM - Veilwatch
THURSDAYS
7:30 PM - Hanging With Mr. Hijacker
8:00 PM - Matima Loves Chachi
8:30 PM - M*U*S*T*A*C*H*E
9:00 PM - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses & Veils
9:30 PM - My Two Bagdads
10:00 PM - Diagnosis: Heresy
FRIDAYS
7:30 PM - This Old Tent
8:00 PM - Movie of the Week Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves
8:30 PM - Khalid and his Camel
9:00 PM - Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things
9:30 PM - Achmeds Creek
10:00 PM - No-Witness News
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)