Build Date: Thu Jan 30 05:40:35 2025 UTC
With respect to the no-dancing prohibitions, I strongly recommend that you see the documentary film "Footloose."
-- Mr. Bad
NEERRRDDDDD!!!!
1999-10-05 22:00:45
Man, you know people who FETISHIZE stupid TV shows beyond the point of cute and clever into the realm of FEVERISH and UNHEALTHY!? You know people like that? I hate them, don't you? And yet, I have become one. Augh, the tragedy!
So, why is it that I love Futurama so much? I dunno. At my company we work with this sick metadatur standard called IMS (trust me, don't follow the link, it'll bore you to tears). One of the metadata fields we work with is called "Semantic Density." I don't know WHAT the fuck that means, but I just know that Futurama is chock full of semantic density.
Like, with most TV, you watch the first 3 minutes of a show (THAT YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE) and you know exactly 100% of everything that has ever happened or ever could happen in the loathesome little universe it portrays. You just sit and scream at the TV, "NO! Your PARTNER is the killer, you DUMBASS! Look, he's STABBED YOU several times! How can you continue to doubt?!" TV is made for PAINFULLY STUPID people, just like public education.
On the other hand, Futurama and of course The Simpsons are accelerated beyond the ability of mere humans to understand. They may be the first machine-readable TV shows. Like, you just CAN'T get all the jokes the first time around. There are 8 jokes going on in every frame. It's IMPOSSIBLE. You can spend 12 days freeze-framing through one 22-minute episode, and STILL not get all the jokes. It's GREAT! It's videotaped RITALIN!
So, anywho, I dig Futurama. This following link is one of those obsessive Web sites where they OVERANALYZE every single one of those jokes to the point of unpleasant fascination. Enjoy it, and tell em Pigdog sent you.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
