Build Date: Mon Jun 8 22:40:04 2026 UTC
My Finn side usually wins any arguments concerning alcohol.
-- Johnnie Royale
To Arms!
1999-01-13 17:29:00
Caught in an embarassing flame war with a ridiculous moron about some trivial subject like techno music or furbiling? Want to settle the issue once and for all, in a way that preserves everyone's dignity and honor? Well, then, my friend, the answer is clear: ROSHAMBO for it!
This time-honored tradition has been used to settle insoluble disputes large and small -- from the shotgun seat to Alsace-Lorraine to dynamic vs. static binding. And now this powerful mediation technique is available on the fantastical WORLD WIDE WEB. Huzzah for that!
So tell that loudmouth that if he really thinks that the 1972 A's are the best team ever, or that his little band of hooligans can really govern Kosovo, then he better put his digital money where his mouth is and ROSHAMBO for it. You can disport yourself with honor and get the question settled before the world.

T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)