Build Date: Thu Feb 5 10:00:06 2026 UTC
I've got a bottle of Swathmore Vinyards Merlot from South Africa sitting here that I could open right now. But I'm saving it, see. That's how much control I have.
-- Ratsnatcher
To Arms!
1999-01-13 17:29:00
Caught in an embarassing flame war with a ridiculous moron about some trivial subject like techno music or furbiling? Want to settle the issue once and for all, in a way that preserves everyone's dignity and honor? Well, then, my friend, the answer is clear: ROSHAMBO for it!
This time-honored tradition has been used to settle insoluble disputes large and small -- from the shotgun seat to Alsace-Lorraine to dynamic vs. static binding. And now this powerful mediation technique is available on the fantastical WORLD WIDE WEB. Huzzah for that!
So tell that loudmouth that if he really thinks that the 1972 A's are the best team ever, or that his little band of hooligans can really govern Kosovo, then he better put his digital money where his mouth is and ROSHAMBO for it. You can disport yourself with honor and get the question settled before the world.
T O P S T O R I E S
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California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
