Build Date: Tue Oct 29 14:10:08 2024 UTC
You are hereby absolved of the curse, my son. Go ye and fornicate freely.
-- That One
R. U. Sirius Debuts New Wrestling Magazine
1999-07-28 05:07:03
Actually, it's not ALL about wrestling, there are also tons of raunchy sex articles, which is exactly what you might expect from something entitled, "Gettingit."
After you are done reading about Jessie Ventura, Andy Kaufman, "Incredibly Strange Wrestling," and "Flesh on the Ropes," get a load of "Boys Bending Over," "She's Naked," and "Pregnant Nymphos."
Famous reality phreaker, R. U. Sirius, has purchased himself a copy of the FutureTense Internet Publishing System, the same richy-rich software that brings you the New York Times, Newsweek, and Netscape Netcenter. He also has hired up a gaggle of miscreant net freelancers, bad English people, and naughty sex writers, to run the whole thing and write articles with sensational TITLES... titles that are guaranteed to get tons of search engine hits, but don't necessarily deliver the goods. That is, if you're a porn addict, or Wrestlemania fan. However, Gettingit does have some pretty good writing about weird pop culture stuff, net flotsam, and real gross sex.
We sent Gettingit down to decoding, and their analysis shows that the Gettingit style looks like someone took HotWired, Salon, The Onion, and Suck, crumpled them all into a ball, and smacked them against the wall a bunch of times, and then plopped down on top what may be the ugliest navigation bar of all time. Maybe it would have been better if R. U. has decided to go with the SUPER EVIL TABLOID web layout envisioned in the illustration for his editorial, " Journalism is Dead, Long Live Journalism," which seems to be the philosophical scaffolding that Gettingit sits upon.
R. U. is right, though. People ARE turning to alternative news sources more and more, and sensationalism IS GOOD. Everyone just reads the Sunday paper for the Target ads anyway. Not only do CRAZY sources on the net have better stories, but sometimes those stories are even TRUE. The now defunct zine, Tabloid, had it right, you can be informed and entertained at the same time.
But for sensational journalism to be RIGHT, and GOOD with the LAND, it must be unrelenting, lean, and powerful. Like Tabloid was.
As R. U. says, "....may the best tabloid version of reality reign supreme." We'll see if Gettingit lives up to that ideal.
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall -- they're definitely desperation tactics. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)