Build Date: Sat Nov 8 16:10:11 2025 UTC
Work's a sucker's game. I'm looking into opportunities in the BANK ROBBERY sector of the economy.
-- Mr. Bad
Kathleen Fent Read This Story
2002-02-14 15:16:49
Kathleen, I wanted to do this in this most potentially embarassing way possible, and I figured doing it here and now, in front of a quarter of a million strangers (give or take) was as good a way as any. I think you're pretty much a babe and I know now that I want to spend my night with you. Enough rambling. Will you have some drunken, sloppy sex with me?
I know you've decided to get married to Cmdr Taco of Slashdot and everything, and I'm totally cool with that. It happens to everybody, eventually, except for those of us that it never happens to who eventually grow big Unix beards and wear T-shirts with demons on them and hang out way too much at user groups for no good reason, regaling people with stories of how HPUX works.
But I have to say that you have an admirable pair of hooters there on you, and, HELL, you're not married yet or anything, so what's wrong with a little of the ol' ha-cha-cha? Seriously, no strings attached or anything. I'm totally cool with it.
It's Valentine's Day, after all, and hormones and shit are in the air. Plus I've got, like, a big leopard-skin bed with purple sheets on it, and it's pretty damn groovy. I also have a lot of auto-repair books in my bedroom, too, if you catch my drift. Eh? No, I mean, they're really auto repair books, but they've got some cool illustrations.
Anyways, like, let me know. I'll be waiting right here.
Update 15 minutes 30 seconds later: Subj: "Yes", message body: "Creep. You made me cry. :)" Hazah!

T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
Naked Australian Redhead -- Missing!
She posed naked on the web, fought for pornography online, and even kept an online "Diary of a Virtual Girlfriend." But after earning a place in internet history, Bernadette Taylor vanished without a trace. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)